The Sandlot Movie Poster

Quotes from The Sandlot

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    • Benny Rodriguez: Anyone who wants to be a can't-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.
    • Benny Rodriguez: Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun you would've caught that ball. You ever have a paper route?
    • Smalls: I helped a guy once.
    • Benny Rodriguez: Okay, well chuck it like you throw paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go, it's that easy.
    • [starts to jog away]
    • Smalls: How do I catch it.
    • Benny Rodriguez: Just stand out there and stick your glove out in the air. I'll take care of it.
    • Mom: Honey, I want you to make some friends this summer, lots of them.
    • Smalls: Yeah, I know. But I'm not good at anything, mom. Face it, I'm just an egghead.
    • Smalls: You were all leaving, so I thought I'd hop the...
    • Squints: If you'da been thinkin you wouldn't 'a thought that.
    • Squints: It's about time Benny, my clothes are goin' outa style.
    • Yeah Yeah: They already are, Squints.
    • Squints: Shut up.
    • "The Babe": Remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong.
    • [about Smalls' hat]
    • Benny Rodriguez: Got a fireplace?
    • Scotty Smalls: Yeah.
    • Benny Rodriguez: Throw that in there, man.
    • "The Babe": Let me tell you something kid; Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people never take the chance, either because they're too scared, or they don't recognize it when it spits on their shoes.
    • [Smalls has lost a baseball signed by Babe Ruth]
    • Mr. Mertle: I take it back. You're not in trouble, you're dead where you stand.
    • Ham Porter: Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?
    • Smalls: Some more of what?
    • Ham Porter: No, do you wanna s'more?
    • Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
    • Ham Porter: You're killin' me Smalls! These are s'more's stuff! Ok, pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallows flaming... you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good! Try some!
    • Ham Porter: This pop isn't workin', Benny! I'm bakin' like a toasted cheese-it! It's so hot here!
    • [the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]
    • Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
    • Ham Porter: Moron!
    • Phillips: Scab eater!
    • Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!
    • Phillips: Pus licker!
    • Ham Porter: Fart smeller!
    • [sniffs]
    • Bertram: Ahh.
    • Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
    • Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
    • Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
    • Phillips: It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
    • Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
    • Ham Porter: You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!
    • [entire group stands in shocked silence]
    • Phillips: What did you say?
    • Ham Porter: You heard me.
    • Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
    • Ham Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
    • Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
    • Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?
    • Phillips: You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
    • Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
    • Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
    • Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
    • Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!
    • Ham Porter: *play ball!* Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch.
    • [cuts to new pitch]
    • Ham Porter: Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked?
    • [swings and misses again]
    • Phillips: *Shut up Porter!*
    • Ham Porter: Hey, hey, hey, I'm just trying to have a little friendly conversation, come on.
    • [two seconds later]
    • Ham Porter: Think she'll go out with me?
    • [Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing]
    • Ham Porter: Haha, that's one.
    • [cuts to new pitch]
    • [to the batter]
    • Ham Porter: You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.
    • [cuts to new pitch]
    • Ham Porter: Here it comes, it's coming, I tell ya. *Strike three*
    • [Porter puts the batter off, he swings and misses]
    • Ham Porter: *You're out!"
    • [Squints is about to tell a story]
    • Squints: Quiet! Are you trying to wake it up. It just went to bed!
    • [quite loudly]
    • Smalls: What just went to bed?
    • All: SHH!
    • [whispering]
    • All: The Beast.
    • [louder]
    • Smalls: Oh yeah!
    • All: SHHHH!
    • Smalls: Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi.
    • Ham Porter: That wimpy deer?
    • Smalls: Yeah, I guess. Sorry.
    • Wendy Peffercorn: Little pervert!
    • Squints: Come on, Benny. Man. The kid is a...
    • [with his thumb and index fingers of both hands]
    • Squints: L, 7, Weenie!
    • Yeah Yeah: Yeah. Yeah. Oscar Meyer even.
    • Squints: Where did your old man get that ball?
    • Smalls: I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. She even signed her name on it.Some lady named... Ruth. Baby Ruth.
    • All: *Babe Ruth?*
    • Ham Porter: Benny, why'd you bring that kid?
    • Benny Rodriguez: Because he makes nine of us.
    • Yeah Yeah: Yeah yeah, so does my sister, but I didn't bring her along!
    • Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back.
    • Ham Porter: THE GREAT BAMBINO!
    • Smalls: Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?
    • All: YES!
    • Benny Rodriguez: Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.
    • [Falls to the ground and clutches his stomach, groaning]
    • Smalls: I don't feel so good.
    • [Fanning Scott with their caps]
    • All: Give him air, give him air.
    • Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
    • Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?
    • Ham Porter: WHAT? WHAT?
    • Kenny: The sultan of swat!
    • Bertram: The king of crash!
    • Timmy: The colossus of clout!
    • Tommy: The colossus of clout!
    • All: BABE RUTH!
    • [voiceover]
    • Smalls: We all lived in the neighborhood for a couple of more years-mostly through junior high school-and every summer was great. But none of them ever came close to that first one. When one guy would move away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. We just kept the game going like he was still there.
    • Mr. Mertle: Baseball was life! And I was good at it... real good.
    • Squints: For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver!
    • [referring to the chewed-up baseball]
    • Benny Rodriguez: That's really nice of you, but that ball really is signed by Babe Ruth.
    • Mr. Mertle: So's this one... with the rest of the 1927 Yankees.
    • [about Squints]
    • Yeah Yeah: Yeah yeah, he looks pretty crappy.
    • Timmy: Smalls, you mean to tell me you went home, swiped a ball that was signed by BABE RUTH, brought it out here and actually played with it?
    • Tommy: And actually played with it?
    • [the kids are being chased away from the pool by the lifeguards after Squints kisses Wendy]
    • Ham Porter: Oh, here's your glasses. Did you plan that?
    • [puts on his glasses]
    • Squints: Of course I did. been planning it for years.
    • [at the end, telling what became of his friends]
    • Narrator: Bertram?... Bertram got really into the 60s, and no one ever saw him again.
    • [In the tree house, telling the story of the mutant dog who lives next door]
    • Squints: ... after a while the cops started getting calls from people reporting all the missing thieves...
    • Squints: I've been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling... smiling. I can't take this no more!
    • Toddler: Mommy, mommy, look at the doggie. Ow, that's a big doggie!
    • Ham Porter: You call that pitching? This is baseball! Not tennis!
    • [looks at baseball card]
    • "The Babe": Henry Aaron. I don't know why but can I have this, kid?
    • [repeated line]
    • Narrator: And he/we did the dumbest thing anyone of us could ever have imagined.
    • Narrator: Michael Squints Palledorous walked a little taller that day. And we had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the *crap* out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low... and cool. Not another one among us would have ever in a million years even for a million dollars have the guts to put the move on the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman. And he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over at Squints, and smiled.
    • [mimicking Babe Ruth with a cigar in his mouth; can't understand him]
    • Ham Porter: Check this out. I'm the Great Bambino.
    • Bertram: What? Were you born in a barn, man?
    • Yeah Yeah: Yeah yeah, what planet are you from?
    • [narrating]
    • Smalls: But there was no *way* I could let them know.
    • Squints: You've never heard of the sultan of swat?
    • Kenny: The titan of terror.
    • Timmy: The colossus of clout!
    • Tommy: The colossus of clout!
    • Benny Rodriguez: The king of crash, man.
    • [narrating]
    • Smalls: So, I lied.
    • Smalls: Oh! The Great Bambino. Of course. I thought you said the great Bambi.
    • Sandlot Kids: What?
    • Ham Porter: That wimpy deer?
    • [still can't understand him]
    • Ham Porter: I'm the Great Bambino!
    • Sandlot Kids: What?
    • [takes cigar out of mouth]
    • Ham Porter: I'm the Great Bambino.
    • Sandlot Kids: Oh!
    • Smalls: Who's that?
    • [narrating]
    • Smalls: I had no idea what they were talking about.
    • Ham Porter: What did he say?
    • Squints: the kid is a L7 weenie.
    • All: he can't catch.
    • [looks back at smalls]
    • Benny Rodriguez: Man base up you blockheads.
    • Yeah Yeah: yeah yeah, Oscar Myer even, footlong, dodger dog, a weenie!
    • All: ohhh haha
    • Benny Rodriguez: what are you laughing at Yeah Yeah? you run like a duck!
    • Yeah Yeah: kay kay, but I'm... I'm...
    • Benny Rodriguez: Part of the game right?
    • Yeah Yeah: mmm... Yeah?
    • Benny Rodriguez: Now how come he don't get to be?
    • Bertram: hes a geek man
    • [repeated line]
    • Ham Porter: You're killin' me, Smalls!
    • Squints: It's about time Benny, my clothes are going out of style.
    • Yeah Yeah: They already are, Squints.
    • Squints: Shut up.
    • Ham Porter: Hamilton "the Babe" Porter. "Long Ball" Porter. Come on DeNunez.
    • [Points to center field like Babe Ruth. Everyone laughs]
    • Squints: Oh! Whoa! Geez, Louise.
    • Yeah Yeah: What's a matter?
    • Squints: Geez. Wendy Peffercorn. Mmmm. Whoa.
    • Benny Rodriguez: Where you guys been? We've been waiting here forever, already!
    • Yeah Yeah: Ah, Squints was pervin' a dish.
    • Squints: Shut up! I wasn't.
    • Yeah Yeah: Yeah, yeah, you were! Your tongue was hanging out of your head!
    • Narrator: Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine, which we constantly lied about, we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being there.
    • Narrator: It wasn't really the pool honeys, like we said; because, if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we'd have just pee'd our pants. We all went because, well, because Wendy Peffercorn - was the lifeguard.
    • [watching Wendy Peffercorn on the lifeguard chair putting on suntan lotion]
    • Benny Rodriguez: Oh, man!
    • Yeah Yeah: Yeah, yeah. Too cruel.
    • Timmy: She don't know what she's doin'.
    • Tommy: She don't know what she's doin'.
    • Kenny: Yeah, she does. She knows exactly what she's doin'.
    • Squints: I've swum here every summer in my adult life. And every summer, there she is. Lotion. Oilin'. Oilin'! Lotion. Smiling. Smiling! I can't take this no more!
    • Narrator: You see, for us, baseball was a game. But, for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, baseball was life.
    • Mr. Mertle: That's the way I play. 100%. All the time.
    • Narrator: Even though Bill loved the Murderers' Row ball, he was still plenty mad about me having swiped his Babe Ruth autographed ball and ruining it. So, I didn't feel too bad when he grounded me for a week instead of the rest of my life.
    • [Looking at the Murderers' Row ball]
    • Bill: Wow.
    • Narrator: Things worked out between me and him. And from then on, I didn't have any trouble just calling him, "Dad", all the time.
    • [Scene cuts to Smalls and Bill playing catch, as the Narrator continues]
    • Narrator: We all lived in the neighborhood for a couple of more years, mostly through Junior High School, and every Summer was great. But none of them ever came close to that first one. When one guy would move away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. We just kept the game going like he was still there.
    • Bill: Wow! Starting to hurt my hand.
    • [Scene cuts to the team on the Sandlot as the Narrator continues]
    • Narrator: It was weird that Benny had said that Babe Ruth was like the Hercules of Baseball and the Beast's name ended up being Hercules. None of us could ever figure out what that meant, but we were all amazed by it. I kept in touch with those guys over the years and I found out that Yeah-Yeah's parents had shipped him off to Military School. After the Army, he became one of the pioneering developers of bungee jumping. Of course, we all know why. Bertram, well... Bertram got really into the '60s and no one ever saw him again. Timmy and Tommy became an architect and a contractor. They started out small, designing playground equipment and prefabricated tree houses. But they became multimillionaires when they invented... mini malls. Squints grew up and married Wendy Peffercorn. They have 9 kids. They bought Vincent's Drug Store and they still own it to this day. Hamilton Porter became a professional wrestler. You know him as "The Great Hambino". DeNunez played Triple A ball, but he never got to the majors. He owns he own business now and he coaches a little league team that his sons play on called, "The Heaters". Hercules lived to be 199 years old... uh, in doggie years. I was the last one to move away. But when I did, the Sandlot was still there. After Benny pickled the Beast, his reputation spread all over town. From then on, he was known as, "Benny 'The Jet' Rodriguez" and the nickname stuck with him for the rest of his life.
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