Midnight Cowboy Movie Poster

Quotes from Midnight Cowboy

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    • Joe Buck: I only get car sick on boats. But, it seems to me that's more the fish smell than the bouncing.
    • Shirley: You fell. Hey fella, you fell.
    • Joe Buck: Sometimes you make me want to puke, Ratso.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Joe, uh, do me one favor, huh? This is my place. Am I wrong?
    • Joe Buck: No, you ain't wrong.
    • Ratso Rizzo: You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name - is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
    • Joe Buck: Well, I can't say all that.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Rico, then. At least call me Rico in my own God damn place.
    • Joe Buck: Ok. Rico, Rico, Rico. Rico, Rico, Rico, Rico. Is that enough for you?
    • Ratso Rizzo: That's fine.
    • Towny: Oh, Joe it's... it's so difficult, I - You're a nice person, Joe, I- I- I should never have asked you up here, you're... You're a lovely person, really. Oh, God, I loathe life, I loathe it! Please go, please.
    • Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food?
    • Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
    • Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.
    • Joe Buck: I like the way I look. Makes me feel good, it does. And women like me, goddammit. Hell, the only one thing I ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me, that's a really true fact! Ratso, hell! Crazy Annie they had to send her away!
    • Ratso Rizzo: Then, how come you ain't scored once the whole time you been in New York?
    • [At the gravesite of his father]
    • Ratso Rizzo: He was even dumber than you. He couldn't even write his own name. "X," that's what it ought to say on that goddamn headstone, one big lousy "X". Just like our dump. Condemned by order of City Hall.
    • Ratso Rizzo: You want the word on that brother-and-sister act, Hansel's a fag and Gretel's got the hots for herself, so who cares, right? Load up on the salami.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself.
    • [Joe Buck laughs]
    • Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here!
    • Joe Buck: It's just - Know what happened? You just took a little rest stop that wasn't on the schedule!
    • Ratso Rizzo: Excuse my vulgarity.
    • Ratso Rizzo: I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
    • Joe Buck: Uh, well, sir, I ain't a f'real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud!
    • Joe Buck: It just ain't right cheatin' from a pregnant lady.
    • [first lines]
    • Joe Buck: Whoopee-tee-yi-yo. Get along little dogies. It's your misfortune and none of my own.
    • Sally Buck: You look real nice, lover boy, real nice. Make your old grandma proud. You're gonna be the best-looking cowboy in the whole parade.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Woman starts crying, I'd cut my heart out for her.
    • [passing by]
    • Jackie - New York: That's a great idea. In fact, you just sit tight and I'll cut it out with my fingernail file, Ratso.
    • Ratso Rizzo: The name's Rizzo.
    • Jackie - New York: That's what I said: Ratso.
    • Ratso Rizzo: The two basic items necessary to sustain life, are sunshine and coconut milk. Didya know that? That's a fact! In Florida, they you got a terrific amount of coconut trees there. In fact, I think they even got 'em in the, eh, gas stations over there.
    • Joe Buck: I'm brand, spankin' new in this here town and I was hopin' to get a look at the Statue of Liberty.
    • Cass: It's up in Central Park, taking a leak. If you hurry, you can catch the supper show.
    • [Cass is on the phone while Joe Buck is foreplaying with her]
    • Cass: Oh God... Nothing, I'm talking to Baby. I'm talking to the dog, Maury... please, you're annoying me! Here, why don't you say hello to Baby?
    • [She puts the phone near her toy poodle's ear]
    • Maury (voice on phone): Hello, Baby. Hello, Baby! Hello, ya goddamn dog! Bow wow wow! Bow wow wow!
    • Ratso Rizzo: Come on man, don't hit me. Come on, man. Come on, I'm a cripple!
    • Joe Buck: I ain't gonna hit you!
    • Ratso Rizzo: Come on...
    • Joe Buck: I'm gonna STRANGLE you to death!
    • Ratso Rizzo: You didn't kill him, did you? You got blood on your jacket.
    • Joe Buck: I don't want to talk about it.
    • Joe Buck: Well, I hope you know what you're in for. I'm a truly dangerous person, I am. And some- someone does me bad, like you... I swear, if I'd have caught up with you that night there would've been one dead Ratso along by now, you understand me? You hear?
    • [deadpan]
    • Ratso Rizzo: I'm impressed. You're a killer.
    • Ralph - Texas: What are you gonna do back East?
    • Joe Buck: Lot of rich women back there, Ralph, beggin' for it. Payin' for it too.
    • Ralph - Texas: Yeah?
    • Joe Buck: Yeah. Hell, yeah. An the men, they're mostly tutti-fruttis.
    • Ralph - Texas: Oh, I'll bet you it's a mess back there.
    • Joe Buck: So, I'm gonna cash in on some of that, right!
    • Ralph - Texas: I don't know. I don't know nothin' about it.
    • Joe Buck: Hell! What do I got to stay around here for? I got places to go, right!
    • Annie - Texas: Do you love me, Joe? Do you love me? Do you love me? You're the only one, Joe. You're the only one. You're better than the rest of them. You're better than any of them. You love me, Joe? You're better than all of them. You're the best. Love me, Joe. Joe! Joe? Joe. Do you love me, Joe? Do you love me? Love me. You're the only one, Joe. You're the only one. You're the best, Joe. You're the best.
    • Joe Buck: I'm Joe Buck from Texas.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Enrico Rizzo, from the Bronx.
    • Joe Buck: And I'm gonna buy you a drink. What the hell you think of that?
    • Ratso Rizzo: Well, I don't mind if I do.
    • Ratso Rizzo: It's stupid, a stud like you paying. You don't wanna be stupid.
    • Jackie - New York: Ratso.
    • Ratso Rizzo: The name's Rizzo.
    • Jackie - New York: That's what I said. Ratso.
    • Mr. O'Daniel: Lonesome! I'm lonesome, so I'm a drunk. I'm lonesome, so I'm a dope fiend.
    • Woman - Mr. O'Daniel's Neighbor: Shut up!
    • Mr. O'Daniel: I'm lonesome, so I'm a thief. I'm lonesome, so I'm a fornicator, a whoremonger!
    • Woman - Mr. O'Daniel's Neighbor: You phony!
    • Joe Buck: Keep your meathooks off my radio!
    • Ratso Rizzo: You got more ladies in Miami than in any resort area in the country there. I think per capita, on a given day, there's probably, eh, three hundred of 'em on the beach. In fact, you can't even scratch yourself without getting a belly button there up the old kazoo there.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Sir, where's mine? The black homburg. I brought it in at the same time.
    • Hat Shop Owner - New York: Well, I tell-a you, I don't know. You no have a-hats a-here, mister. You gotta bring me the ticket and you get a-hat.
    • Hat Shop Owner - New York: No, it no - it no belong to yours. It belongs somebody else.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Okay, go ahead. Come on. Take a look.
    • Joe Buck: Don't rush me, boy. Gotta take your time here. Get myself primed up, like I was turnin' on the charm for some pretty little blonde lady, you know? Then when I'm feelin' cool and good - I spin around! And there you are, you handsome devil you!
    • Ratso Rizzo: Not bad. Not bad. For a cowboy. You're okay. You're okay.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Go ahead. Get the money. Listen, get the cash! Remember that lady in the penthouse. Get the cash! Those rich ladies write out a check at night and then in the morning they call the bank and stop payment. Go ahead.
    • [singing]
    • Joe Buck: I got a telephone call from Jesus, I got him on the line...
    • Ratso Rizzo: Where you been? 42nd Street? That's where you been.
    • Joe Buck: Buy yourself some medicine before you die on my damn hands.
    • Ratso Rizzo: I ain't talkin' priest talk, I'm talkin' about what people believe in. Some people believe you can come back in another body.
    • Joe Buck: Well, I hope I don't come back in your body!
    • Ratso Rizzo: I ain't asking you to come back in my body. I'm just sayin' you can come back as anything. You could come back as a - a dog or a president.
    • Joe Buck: If I had my choice, of bein' a dog or a president, I'd come back as a president. I ain't that dumb.
    • Ratso Rizzo: It's a come-on.
    • Joe Buck: Yeah, you know what this is? This is a come-on to a party, is what it is.
    • Ratso Rizzo: It's a couple of wackos advertising. Where does it say to go? Klein's Bargain Basement? You go there and get a ten-year subscription to the Encyclopedia Britannica.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Get outta here. What do a couple of fruity wackos like that want with characters like you and me?
    • Joe Buck: It don't say nothin' about you. It don't say nothin' about you.
    • Ratso Rizzo: It don't say nothin' about you, either!
    • Ratso Rizzo: So, what are you drivin' at? You want me to get lost so you can go to your fancy-ass party?
    • Joe Buck: What a minute. Wait a second. I didn't say nothin' about that. Did I say that? Did I? I'll just tell 'em, 'You want me, I don't go nowhere without my buddy here.'
    • Ratso Rizzo: I ain't dressed for a party.
    • Shirley: Why a cowboy whore? Did you know we were gonna make it?
    • Shirley: How much is this gonna cost me?
    • Ratso Rizzo: Twenty bucks.
    • Shirley: Okay.
    • Ratso Rizzo: And taxi fare for me.
    • Shirley: Oh, get lost, will ya?
    • Ratso Rizzo: I agree, but for that service I charge one buck taxi fare. Okay?
    • Shirley: Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
    • Ratso Rizzo: So, you really wanna do business?
    • Shirley: Who is he?
    • [Joe Laughs]
    • Shirley: Don't tell me you two are a couple.
    • [Joe and Rizzo laugh]
    • Shirley: Hey. Why are you laughing, Joe? Are you really a cowboy?
    • Joe Buck: Well, I'll tell you the truth now. I ain't a for-real cowboy, but I am one hell of a stud!
    • Ratso Rizzo: A very expensive stud and I happen to be his manager.
    • Party Girl: What's the matter? How did you get crippled?
    • Ratso Rizzo: I slipped on a banana peel.
    • Shirley: Well, it happens. Don't worry about it.
    • Joe Buck: Well, it ain't never happened to me before! You can bet your bottom dollar on that. Where's the matches, ma'am?
    • Shirley: Over there behind that thing. Maybe if you didn't call me ma'am' - things might work out better.
    • Joe Buck: That's the first goddamn time the thing ever quit on me. That's a fact. You think I'm lyin' to you?
    • Shirley: No. No, I don't think you're lying. I just had this funny image. I had this image of a policeman without his stick and a bugler without his horn etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
    • [laughs]
    • Shirley: Oh. Well, I think I'm making it worse. Maybe we oughta take a little nap and see what happens.
    • Joe Buck: I ain't sleepy.
    • Shirley: Oh. I know. Scribbage!
    • Shirley: 'Gay' ends in 'Y'. Hmm? Do you like that?
    • Joe Buck: Cut that out.
    • Shirley: Gay. Fay. Is that your problem, baby?
    • Joe Buck: I'm gonna show you my darn problem!
    • Ratso Rizzo: How was she?
    • Joe Buck: Well, she went crazy, if you want to know the damn truth of it.
    • Ratso Rizzo: Yeah?
    • Joe Buck: Yeah. She turned into a damn alley cat.
    • Ratso Rizzo: I'm scared.
    • Joe Buck: What are you scared of?
    • Ratso Rizzo: You know what they do to you when they know you can't... When they find out that you can't wa - walk. Oh, Christ!
    • Towny: It's my first night here, and I'd feel privileged if you'd have dinner with me. There's a little French restaurant not too far from here. Italian restaurant? Does that appeal to you? Don't worry about how you're dressed. They know me. Besides, I'll tell 'em you're with the rodeo. There's always a rodeo in town, damn it. Besides, you look very elegant.
    • Joe Buck: Hey, you know, Ratso, Rico, I mean, I got this damn thing all figured out. When we get to Miami, what I'm gonna do is get some sort of job, you know? 'Cause, hell, I ain't no kind of hustler. I mean, there must be an easier way of makin' a livin' than that!
    • Ratso: I'm Rico, all the time. OK? We're gonna tell all these new people my name's Rico.
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