Quotes from Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Showing all 54 items
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- Audrey II: Does this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?
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- [singing]
- Audrey II: If you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify, take a breath and look around, a lot of folks deserve to die!
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- [singing]
- Audrey II: I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad!
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- [singing]
- Audrey: I'd cook like Betty Crocker and I'd look like Donna Reed!
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- [the masochistic patient meets the sadistic dentist]
- Arthur Denton: I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.
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- [Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist]
- [singing]
- Orin: I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.
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- [repeated line]
- Audrey II: Feed me, Seymour!
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- Audrey II: Feed me!
- Seymour: Does it have to be human?
- Audrey II: Feed me!
- Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
- Audrey II: Feeeed me!
- Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?
- [singing]
- Audrey II: Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.
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- [singing]
- Audrey II: Would you like a Cadillac car? / Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? / How about a date with Hedy Lamarr? / You can get it.
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- [singing]
- Audrey II: I got killer buds / A power stem / Nasty pods / And I'm using them! / So better move 'em out / Nature calls / You got my pun? / I'm gonna bust your balls!
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- Seymour: The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.
- Mr. Mushnik: Strictly between us - neither is the Audrey One.
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- Seymour: The guy sure looks like plant food to me.
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- Audrey: Seymour's first radio broadcast! I wanted to hear it so bad. I tried to be on time, but...
- Mr. Mushnik: Don't tell me. You got tied up.
- Audrey: No. Just handcuffed a little.
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- [of Orin's disappearance]
- Audrey: It wouldn't be terrible at all. It would be a miracle, not to mention the money I'd save on epsom salts and ace bandages.
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- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Oh, here it comes, baby. Tell your mom, baby. Oh oh no! Oh, hit the dirt, baby! Red alert baby! Oh oh no, oh oh no!
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- Orin: I find a little giggle-gas before I begin increases my pleasure enormously.
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- [in the Radio station]
- Wink Wilkinson: Gee, I wish you folks could see this. Hey Seymour, where did you get this WEEEEEEEEEEIRD plant?
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- Seymour: Wait for me, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable!
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- Audrey: All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house.
- Seymour: Oh Audrey, you're the most wondeful person that ever lived. We're gonna get that little house and everything's gonna be alright, you'll see.
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- Seymour: It's true! I chopped him up. But I didn't kill him!
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- [singing about her dream home with Seymour]
- Audrey: Between our frozen dinners, and our bedtime - 9:15 - we'd snuggle watching Lucy on a big, enormous, 12-inch screen!
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- [singing]
- Audrey: A matchbox of our own, a fence of real chain-link/A grill out on the patio, disposal in the sink/A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine/In a tract house that we share/Somewhere that's green
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- Seymour: Wait a minute, Audrey II, that's not a very nice thing to say!
- Audrey II: But it's true, isn't it?
- Seymour: No! I don't know anybody who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!
- Audrey II: Mmmmmm, sure you do!
- [Turns Seymour around to look out the window. They see Orin and Audrey. Orin yells at Audrey and at last hits her]
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- [Seymour is attempting to put a plant on a high shelf. The shelving unit falls and the plants crash to the floor]
- Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what's going on?
- Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik.
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- [singing]
- Seymour: Suddenly Seymour / Is standing beside you
- [singing]
- Audrey: Suddenly Seymour / Showed me I can...
- [singing over sustain]
- Audrey: Yes you can...
- Patrick Martin: Excuse me! Pardon me, beg your pardon, if you two kids would stop singing for just a moment I've got something I want to discuss with you.
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- Patrick Martin: Me and the guys at the home office have been following this plant of yours. We've come up with one incredible idea. We're very proud of it. Picture this: we take leaf cuttings, develop little Audrey IIs and sell them to florist shops across the nation. Pretty soon every household in America could have one.
- [concerned]
- Seymour: Every household in America!
- Patrick Martin: For starters, kid. Why, this thing could go... worldwide!
- [to each other, panicked:]
- AudreySeymour: *Worldwide*?
- Patrick Martin: With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.
- [to Seymour, intrigued:]
- Audrey: Bigger than Hula-Hoops?
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- Audrey: I don't believe it.
- Audrey II: Believe it, baby. It talks.
- Audrey: Am I dreaming this?
- Audrey II: No, and you ain't in Kansas, neither.
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- Audrey II: I need me some water in the worst way. Look at my branches. I'm dryin' up. I'm a *goner*, honey!
- [singing]
- Audrey II: Don't need no twist of lime...
- [sing-song]
- Audrey: Here we go!
- Audrey II: And now it's *suppertime*!
- [singing]
- Audrey II: Come on and give me a drink!
- Audrey: I don't know if I should.
- [singing]
- Audrey II: Hey, little lady, be nice.
- Audrey: Do you talk to Seymour like this?
- [singing]
- Audrey II: Sure do. I'll take it straight.
- Audrey: Your leaves *are* dry.
- [singing]
- Audrey II: Don't need no glass or no ice.
- Audrey: I'll get the can.
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- Patrick Martin: Whaddya say, Seymour? Do we have a deal?
- Seymour: Go on and get out!
- Patrick Martin: Look, I'll come back when you're in a better mood!
- Seymour: Go on, get outta here now!
- Patrick Martin: Alright!
- Seymour: No! Keep your contract. Nobody's touchin' that plant, you hear?
- Patrick Martin: Hey, we're offerin' a lotta money here!
- Seymour: Forget the money. Take the money and leave!
- Patrick Martin: Whaddya, nuts?
- Seymour: Yeah, I'm nuts! Get outta here!
- Patrick Martin: Hey, now, come on!
- Seymour: Go on! Get outta here!
- Patrick Martin: You're a loon!
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- Orin: Look Seymour, this could happen to you. Unless I take immediate action.
- [helpless in dentist chair]
- Seymour: What's that?
- [enthusiastically]
- Orin: A drill.
- Seymour: It's rusty!
- Orin: It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this any more. Sturdy. Heavy. Dull!
- Orin: I'm gonna want some gas fer this.
- Seymour: Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any.
- Orin: Oh, the gas isn't for you Seymour, it's for me. You see, I wanna really enjoy this.
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- Patrick Martin: Son, kid, boy are we gonna make a fortune.
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- [singing]
- Audrey II: you know the kind'a eats, the kind'a red HOT sweets, the kind'a sticky licky treats I crave!
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- Mr. Mushnik: Hey, urchins!
- Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row/ Ain't no such thing!
- [bangs on window]
- Mr. Mushnik: Shoo, get outta here!/ No loitering!
- Ronette: Maan, I wasn't loitering/ Were you Crystal?
- Crystal: Not me Ronette, were you Chiffon?
- Mr. Mushnik: You kids should be in school!
- Chiffon: Yeah, but were on a split shift.
- Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till the tenth grade, then we split!
- Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
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- Audrey: I got a date.
- Mr. Mushnik: With that same no-goodnik? I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need a date - you need major medical!
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- Mr. Mushnik: Move, move! Move! Stay away!
- Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing!
- [gestures them away from inside his window]
- Mr. Mushnik: No loitering!
- Ronette: Man, I wasn't loitering! Were you, Crystal?
- Crystal: Not me, Ronette! Were you, Chiffon?
- Mr. Mushnik: You oughta be in school!
- Chiffon: Yeah, well, we're on a split shift.
- Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till fifth grade, then we split!
- Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
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- [singing]
- Seymour: I don't know.
- Audrey II: Come on, boy!
- [singing]
- Seymour: I don't know!
- Audrey II: Lighten up!
- [singing]
- Seymour: I have so, so many strong reservations.
- Audrey II: Tell it to the Marines!
- [singing]
- Seymour: Should I go and perform mutilations?
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- [while undergoing a torturous procedure by Orin Scrivello, DDS]
- Arthur Denton: It's your professionalism that I respect.
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- [to Seymour]
- Mr. Mushnik: You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?
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- Audrey II: Tough titty!
- Seymour: You watch your language!
- Audrey II: Aw cut the crap and bring on the meat!
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- [Seymour points a gun at him]
- Orin: You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...
- [coughs out of control]
- Orin: I could asphyx...
- [continues laughing and coughing until he collapses on the floor]
- [stops laughing]
- Orin: What'd I ever do to you?
- [lowers the gun]
- Seymour: Nothing. It's what you did to her.
- Orin: Her who?
- [Seymour does not answer]
- [finally gets it]
- Orin: Oh... her...
- [Orin then dies from too much nitrous oxide as Seymour goes puzzled]
- [while wearing a gas mask, sees it]
- Orin: Huh? What the hell's that? A gun?
- [laughs out of control]
- [sarcastically while laughing still]
- Orin: Kid's got a goddamn revolver Oh, Jesus! I'm in trouble now, huh?
- [Orin laughs still as Seymour goes nervous still pointing the gun at him]
- Orin: Oh, wait till I turn this gas off.
- [takes the cap off by accident]
- Orin: Uh-oh! Oh, give me a hand, would you? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?
- [laughs again but coughs as he tries to take the mask off]
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- [after Seymour asks why Mushnik is angry at him]
- Mr. Mushnik: Little red dots all over the linoleum, little red spots on the concrete outside - I'm talking blood, Krelborn! I'm talking under my own roof!
- [swings the axe]
- Mr. Mushnik: I saw you chopping him!
- Audrey II: You've got nowhere to run.
- [innocently]
- Seymour: It's true! I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!
- Audrey II: He knows your life of crime.
- [points a gun at him]
- Mr. Mushnik: Tell it to the police!
- Audrey II: I think it's suppertime!
- [grabs an axe]
- Mr. Mushnik: An axe murderer!
- [Seymour goes alarmed]
- [sings off-screen]
- Audrey II: He's got your number now.
- Mr. Mushnik: I saw everything!
- Audrey II: He knows just what you've done.
- Mr. Mushnik: Everything you did to her boyfriend!
- Audrey II: You've got no place to hide.
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- Seymour: You okay?
- Seymour: What?
- Audrey: When I die, which should be very shortly, give me to the plant, so that it will live and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.
- Seymour: You don't know what you're saying.
- Audrey: But I do! It's the one gift I can give you. And if I'm in the plant, then I am part of the plant, so in a way... we'll always be together.
- Audrey: Yes... no...
- [Audrey falls to the ground. Seymour helps her up and holds her in his arms]
- Seymour: Don't die, Audrey! Please don't die!
- Audrey: You know, the plant just said the strangest thing just now. It said Orin and Mr. Mushnik are already inside!
- Seymour: It's true. I did it. I fed them to it.
- Audrey: And that's what made it so big and strong, and you so famous?
- Seymour: I've done terrible things, Audrey, but not to you. Never to you.
- Audrey: But... I want you to, Seymour.
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- [singing]
- Audrey: You'll wash my tender leaves/You'll smell my sweet perfume/You'll water me, and care for me/You'll see me bud and bloom/I'm feeling strangely happy now/Contented and serene/Oh, don't you see?/Finally, I'll be/Somewhere that's... green!
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- [first lines]
- Narrator: On the twenty-third day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places...
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- [singing]
- Crystal: Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Similar events in cities across America/Events which bore a striking resemblance/To the ones you have just seen/Began occurring./Ooh, ooo-ooh.
- [singing]
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California/Made the acquaintance of a new breed of flytrap/And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood./Thus the plants worked their terrible will/Finding jerks who would feed them their fill/And the plants proceeded to grow, and grow/And began what they came here to do/Which was essentially to/Eat Cleveland/And Des Moines/And Peoria/And New York/And where you live!
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- [last lines, director's cut]
- [singing]
- Company: Hold your hat and hang on to your soul/Something's coming to eat the world whole/If we fight it, we've still got a chance/But whatever they offer you/Though they're slopping the trough for you/Please whatever they offer you/Don't feed the plants!/Don't feed the plants!
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- [singing]
- 'Downtown' Old Woman: Alarm goes off at seven/And you start uptown/You put in your eight hours/For the powers/That have always been.
- Ronette: Sing it, child.
- 'Downtown' Old Woman: 'Til it's 5 PM...
- 'Downtown' Bum #1: Then you go...
- [singing]
- 'Downtown' Old WomanChiffonCrystalRonette: Downtown/Where the folks are broke/You go downtown/Where your life's a joke/You go downtown/Where the hop-heads flop in the snow.
- 'Downtown' Old Woman: Home to Skid Row.
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- [singing]
- Audrey: Downtown/Where the guys are drips.
- Company: Downtown!
- Audrey: Where they rip your slips.
- Company: Downtown!
- Audrey: Where relationships are no go/Down on Skid Row.
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- [singing]
- Seymour: Poor/All my life I've always been poor/I keep asking God what I'm for/And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure"/"Sweep that floor, kid!"/Oh, I started life as an orphan/A child of the street/Here on skid row/He took me in/Gave me shelter, a bed/Crust of bread and a job/Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob/Which I am/So I live...
- Company: Downtown!
- Seymour: That's your home address/You live...
- Company: Downtown!
- Seymour: When your life's a mess/You live...
- Company: Downtown!
- Seymour: Where depression's just status quo.
- Company: Down on Skid Row.
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- [singing]
- AudreySeymour: Gee, it sure would be swell to get outta here/Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here/I'd move Heaven and Hell to get outta Skid/I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid...
- Company: Downtown!
- AudreySeymour: But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid...
- Company: Downtown!
- AudreySeymour: People tell me there's not a way outta Skid...
- Company: Downtown!
- AudreySeymour: But believe me/I gotta get outta Skid...
- AudreyCompanySeymour: ...Row!
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- [singing]
- Orin: When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: What did she say?
- Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"
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- [Seymour recounts how he found Audrey II]
- Seymour: 'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Da da da da da da-doo.
- Seymour: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Nope, da-doo.
- Seymour: So, I was just about to, you know, walk on by...
- Doo-Wop Street Singer: Good for you.
- [scatting]
- Seymour: When suddenly, and without warning, there was this...
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: ...total eclipse of the sun!
- Seymour: It got very dark, and there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world.
- Seymour: You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Da-doo!
- Seymour: And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there...
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Whoop, see-doo.
- Seymour: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Audrey II!
- Seymour: I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before, but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five.
- [singing]
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Da-doo!
- Seymour: I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day...
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Shoop da-doo.
- Seymour: And I passed by this place, where this old Chinese man...
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Chang, da-doo.
- Seymour: He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...
- ChiffonCrystalRonette: Snip, da-doo.
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- [theatrical cut]
- Audrey: I liked you from the day I came to work here.
- Seymour: You mean you still like me, even if I wasn't famous?
- [smiles]
- Audrey: I'd still love you Seymour.
- Seymour: Really?
- Audrey: Yes. All I ever wanted was you... and that sweet little house.
- [happily]
- Seymour: Oh, Audrey, you're the most wonderful person that ever lived! We're gonna get that little house and everything will be okay somehow, you'll see!
- [sings]
- Seymour: Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.
- [sings]
- Audrey: Suddenly Seymour showed me I can!
- Audrey: Yes, you can!
- [after saving Audrey from Audrey II]
- Seymour: Are you okay?
- Audrey: Yes... No...
- [Audrey collapses]
- Seymour: Audrey! Audrey!
- [gets back up]
- Audrey: No, really, I'm okay.
- Seymour: I'm sorry, Audrey, I'm just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that somehow it makes things happen - terrible things. Well, I guess I should've stopped when I found out what it lived on, but it was cute and harmless, and we started doing business and making money and you like me...
- Audrey: Seymour! Do you really think I liked you because of that?
- [Seymour goes silent]
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- [Seymour quietly tries to sneak out of the shop with suitcases while the plant is asleep. As he slowly opens the door... ]
- Audrey II: Feed me.
- Seymour: Under NO circumstances.
- Audrey II: FEED me.
- [annoyed]
- Seymour: I will not, so stop asking.
- Audrey II: Feed me!
- [puts down suitcase]
- Seymour: No! No more! I can't keep living with the guilt
- [coldly]
- Audrey II: Tough titty.
- Seymour: You watch your language.
- [stands up to full height]
- Audrey II: Ooooh, cut the crap! Bring on the meat!