Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween Movie Poster

Quotes from Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween

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    • Jonathan: My name's Jonathan, El Presidente of this here fraterni-tay.
    • Horse: My name's Ronaldo, but my friends call me Horse.
    • [hears shallow breathing behind her]
    • Madea: What's that breathing?
    • Hattie: It's that cloooooown, Ma!
    • Madea: I was reading.
    • Aunt BamHattie: Reading what?
    • Madea: I was trying to read the Bible.
    • Aunt Bam: Madea, where is the Bible?
    • Madea: It's on the table of my heart.
    • [takes a card out of her blouse]
    • Aunt Bam: I got a prescription!
    • Madea: I ain't scared of nothing, I ain't scared of nothing.
    • [opens door to the attic, slowly goes up]
    • Madea: I've never been scared of anything. I've been big all my life, I *had* to be brave. All my life I had to fight. I just ain't ever planned on fighting in Brian's house.
    • Aunt Bam: Madea, what is a Ho-01K?
    • Madea: That's for hoes. That's for all those women that never ever could pay taxes because they got their money illegally, so you put it all to the side. It's not a 401K, it's a Ho-01K. That's what I got from back in the day when I was stripping.
    • Madea: Do you know what I had to do when I was little to get candy?
    • Aunt Bam: What'd you have to do, Madea?
    • Madea: I had to give up candy to *get* candy, that's what I had to do.
    • Alice: Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God?
    • Madea: If that's what I gotta do, then that's what I'm doing. I believe!
    • Alice: And you confess your sins?
    • [looks around the church]
    • Madea: In front of all these children? You want me to confess all my sins in front of these men, I can't do that, I'll have them blushing.
    • [laughs]
    • Madea: You don't know what I used to do back in the day, honey. It wan't no fun. Bam!
    • [knocks her breasts together]
    • [comes up to Madea and Bam]
    • Kid 2: Trick or treat!
    • Madea: I'm a trick, she's a treat, now get the hell on.
    • [Tiffany and her friends are being held for Aday's murder]
    • Madea: This is what your daddy was trying to tell you, this is what I was trying to make you understand, little girl. Your parents ain't lame because they say 'don't sneak out, don't text and drive', all that stuff is bad and you get people killed.
    • [looks out bus window]
    • Prisoner 3: There's my mama and my daddy... my mama, my daddy, and my sister? My sister?
    • [stands up]
    • Prisoner 3: You killed my sister!
    • Quinton: No, no, no! They're black, they're not even related to you!
    • Prisoner 1: So you killed that girl and now you're crying.
    • [hysterical]
    • Jonathan: We didn't kill anybody, I swear!
    • Prisoner 1: There's a dead body in the house, you on this bus with us.
    • [about Madea]
    • Jonathan: She's not going to call the cops, is she?
    • Tiffany: No, she has a lot of warrants. She's crazy but not *that* crazy.
    • Aday: I want to go home.
    • Dino: Years old?
    • Aday: Yes.
    • Dino: In human years?
    • Aday: Yes.
    • [pause, high-pitched scream, runs out of the room]
    • Dino: This girl is 17! 17 years old!
    • Dino: Me too, home run, I'm talking 5th base.
    • [horrified]
    • Aday: Is there even a 5th base? What's that?
    • Dino: Why're you freaking out?
    • Aday: I'm not, what do you mean?
    • Dino: We get weird on each other.
    • Aday: I'm only 17.
    • Dino: Y-you're 17?
    • Aday: Yes.
    • [busts in on Jonathan and Tiffany]
    • Quinton: Stop, man, stop!
    • Dino: Pull the ripcord!
    • Jonathan: What the hell? Doesn't anybody knock?
    • Tiffany: That was so wrong!
    • Aday: I know... but at least I'm alive.
    • [hugs her]
    • Tiffany: I'm sorry.
    • Madea: Does your mama know you dress like that?
    • [in a sexy French maid costume]
    • Leah: Duh, she picked it out for me.
    • Madea: Your *mama* picked that out for you?
    • LeahRain: Yeah.
    • Madea: Damn! Your mama must be one of them Housewives.
    • Hattie: Hey, Brian!
    • Brian: I don't want it.
    • Brian: Hello, Miss Hattie, how you doing?
    • Hattie: Hey, gimme a hug, Brian!
    • [laughs nervously]
    • Brian: Oh, no, no, no, I'll pass on that. I'll pass on that.
    • Hattie: Why?
    • Aunt Bam: You know why. Every time you hug up on him, you thrust your pelvis into his.
    • Hattie: What? He a grown-ass man, he can take it.
    • Brian: I don't *want* to take it, Miss Hattie.
    • Hattie: You can take it if you want it, Brian.
    • Aunt Bam: These children today...
    • Madea: No, it ain't the children, baby, it's the parents. It's the *damn* parents, the parents I don't understand.
    • Joe: That's what it is right there.
    • Madea: If the parents were getting in charge of the children here, we wouldn't be having all these issues.
    • Madea: Boy, I remember them teenage years.
    • [takes out hammer]
    • Madea: You got to *drop* the hammer!
    • Hattie: Mm-hmm.
    • Madea: Drop the hammer on them. Them teenage years, hell. I'm telling ya, I keeps me a hammer.
    • Brian: Listen, we have never spanked our children, ever. We didn't do that, we weren't those kinds of parents.
    • Hattie: Well that's the problem right there.
    • Aunt Bam: That's right.
    • Madea: That's right, that's right. Whoop her. Baby, let me tell you something, I'm not telling you to go up there and abuse no child, even though I got a hammer in my purse, I'm just kidding about the hammer.
    • [to Hattie]
    • Madea: No I'm not.
    • [to Brian]
    • Madea: But listen, what I'm trying to get you to understand is very very simple, son. Hear me clearly. A little love tap never hurt nobody.
    • Aunt Bam: I was so worried at my house, you know I'm scared of everything. Scared. Of. Everything. And this Halloween stuff just give me the creeps.
    • Madea: She don't like, she don't like Haller-ween.
    • Aunt Bam: Mm-mm. Don't like it at all, it just give me the creeps. But now I'm all right, 'cause we all here together
    • Madea: All together.
    • Aunt Bam: That's right.
    • Madea: Together.
    • Tiffany: Look what I brought home from school.
    • Joe: What the hell's that?
    • Tiffany: It's a ghost board, Grandpa.
    • Joe: Get that, get that the hell on out of here.
    • Aunt Bam: No ma'am, uh-uh, get that devilment out of here.
    • Tiffany: No, it's fun. It's how you communicate with the dead.
    • Madea: You heard her, get it on out of here, honey. We don't play with stuff like that. Get that up out of here.
    • Tiffany: No, it's fun.
    • Madea: I'ma tell you right now, if you open it, that's what you're gonna be. Dead! You gonna be on the other side, honey. We don't play with stuff like that.
    • Tiffany: No, it's a card, it says 'Death'!
    • [ominous whisper]
    • Tiffany: Oh no.
    • Madea: Ain't no 'oh no', I'ma tell you right now, y'all children don't understand. Let me make this perfectly clear to you, honey. You don't be playing around, keep playing with the devil, he gonna show up.
    • [to Tiffany]
    • Madea: I tell you, don't be playing with me, little girl. That's what you gonna look like, just like that damn skeleton on that card.
    • [poses]
    • Madea: Doing a pirouette.
    • Tiffany: You don't understand, this card is from Mr. Wilson, the man who *died* in this house on Halloween. He killed his entire family and put all of their bodies in the attic, and it's said that every Halloween, he comes back to take a life, and the only place he doesn't go in this house are the bedrooms, because that's where the priests used to sleep when this house was a monastery.
    • Tiffany: The ghosts come out at midnight.
    • Aunt Bam: Okay.
    • [stands up]
    • Aunt Bam: I'm out of here.
    • Tiffany: I'm telling you, I'm going to bed, because after 10, strange things start happening, *strange* things.
    • Tiffany: Hold this, when I give the signal, press it.
    • Aday: Is this a bomb?
    • Tiffany: No it's not a bomb! It controls the lights.
    • Aday: Oh!
    • [exhales]
    • Aday: Thank God. I thought we were blowing up old people tonight. I'm trying to *make* it to Heaven, Tiffany.
    • Hattie: I saw a clown, Ma!
    • Madea: You saw a clown? What'd it look like?
    • Hattie: A filthy-looking clown! A crazy-looking clown!
    • [nervously]
    • Madea: I saw one too!
    • Madea: I'm going there and burn that frat house down.
    • Reverend: But you just got saved, Miss Madea!
    • Madea: Sometimes getting saved is like a bad perm, Reverend.
    • [deep manly voice]
    • Madea: IT JUST DON'T TAKE!
    • [entire church looks on in shock]
    • [Madea's making ghastly noises]
    • Alice: The Lord's working on her.
    • Madea: No, that's not the Lord, that's these words tryin' come up
    • [makes horrible bodily noises, near panic]
    • Madea: Don't cuss, Madea, you in a church, don't cuss, Madea... bind you, cussing demon! Cussing demon, I bind you!
    • [about Rain and Leah]
    • Aday: The only reason they're popular is because they wear those baby shirts that show off what the Good Lord gave them, how come they have to set the trends?
    • Tiffany: Okay, first of all, those 'baby shirts' are called crop tops.
    • Police Officer #1: We got a call from this house about an underaged girl at a frat party?
    • Aunt Bam: Ah! You speaking in tongues?
    • Police Officer #1: I went to college.
    • Aunt Bam: And I love Jesus. Yes, I do, too.
    • Police Officer #1: We all do too.
    • Aunt Bam: Amen.
    • Aunt Bam: Uh...
    • [Jamaican accent]
    • Aunt Bam: No Englese, I'm... from Jamaica.
    • Police Officer #1: They speak English in Jamaica.
    • Aunt Bam: Well then I'm from Me-hi-co!
    • Police Officer #1: Como usta usted?
    • Aunt Bam: Well then I'm from China.
    • [Cop responds in Chinese]
    • [in church]
    • Alice: You can't smoke in here, Miss Madea.
    • [takes cigarette out of her mouth]
    • Madea: Okay, but didn't Moses have a burning bush?
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