The Blair Witch Project Movie Poster

Quotes from The Blair Witch Project

Showing all 37 items
    • Heather Donahue: I just want to apologize to Mike's mom, Josh's mom, and my mom. And I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive. I am so so sorry for everything that has happened. Because in spite of what Mike says now, it is my fault. Because it was my project and I insisted. I insisted on everything. I insisted that we weren't lost. I insisted that we keep going. I insisted that we walk south. Everything had to be my way. And this is where we've ended up and it's all because of me that we're here now - hungry, cold, and hunted. I love you mom, dad. I am so sorry. What is that? I'm scared to close my eyes, I'm scared to open them! We're gonna die out here!
    • Michael Williams: I could help you, but I'd rather stand here and record.
    • Joshua Leonard: Are you happy?
    • Heather Donahue: I'm not happy, no. But the car's not far - we're just not going to be able to find it in the dark.
    • Heather Donahue: I tell you guys, two more hours max.
    • Michael Williams: I agreed to a scouted-out project!
    • Heather Donahue: How would we have, like, just... made a campsite in the middle of three piles of rocks, just by coincidence?
    • Joshua Leonard: I gave you BACK the map, Heather.
    • Heather Donahue: I gave you the map.
    • Joshua Leonard: I gave you BACK... THE MAP.
    • Heather Donahue: How's east?
    • Michael Williams: East?
    • Heather Donahue: Yeah, we've been going south all this time. How's east?
    • Michael Williams: Wicked Witch of the West, Wicked Witch of the East. Which one was bad?
    • Heather Donahue: Wicked Witch of the West was the bad one.
    • Michael Williams: Then we should go east.
    • Michael Williams: What are some of your favorite things to do?
    • Heather Donahue: Well, on Sundays I used to like to go hiking, but now...
    • Heather Donahue: I'm afraid to close my eyes, I'm afraid to open them.
    • Heather Donahue: Mmmm. Marshmallows. Soft.
    • [On "Gilligan's Island."]
    • Joshua Leonard: There was no beer on the island, man. If they had beer they would have had, like, big-ass orgies.
    • [Looking through Heather's camera]
    • Joshua Leonard: It's not the same on film is it? I mean, you know it's real, but it's like looking through the lens gives you some sort of protection from what's on the other side.
    • [Why the woods aren't big enough to get lost in]
    • Heather Donahue: Because this is America! We've exhausted all of our natural resources!
    • Heather Donahue: I want to avoid being cheesy, here. I want to avoid any cheese.
    • Heather Donahue: We have enough battery power to run a small third world country here.
    • Heather Donahue: Witches in days gone by were roasted just like my Vienna sausage.
    • Josh Leonard: I see why you like this video camera so much.
    • Heather Donahue: You do?
    • Josh Leonard: It's not quite reality. It's like a totally filtered reality. It's like you can pretend everything's not quite the way it is.
    • Josh Leonard: You gonna write us a happy ending, Heather?
    • Michael Williams: I found some cigarettes. I found them all the way in the bottom of my pack. We're still alive 'cause we're smoking.
    • Heather Donahue: Ok I'm not allowed to smoke, but Mike's allowed to fart as much as he wants?
    • Josh Leonard: I didn't give Mike any fart allowance.
    • [Josh and Heather are talking about "Gilligan's Island."]
    • Michael Williams: Let's not call him "the Captain," you illiterate TV people. It's "the Skipper."
    • Heather Donahue: Flames are licking you like the devil there, Josh.
    • [walking up to Josh's car to greet him]
    • Heather Donahue: Hey there! It's Mr. Punctuality! How the *hell* are ya this morning?
    • [getting out of car]
    • Josh Leonard: Tired.
    • Michael Williams: There's people out here messing with us, and I'm not going to play with that.
    • Heather Donahue: How do you know it was people?
    • Michael Williams: Well, even if it isn't, I'm not going to play with that, either!
    • [sees dozens of stick-men hanging from trees]
    • Michael Williams: No redneck is this creative.
    • [screaming sadly to himself]
    • Michael Williams: ... but I'm not gonna see it 'cause I'm in the woods!
    • Heather Donahue: Tell me you're not eating a dead leaf...
    • Michael Williams: Yes.
    • [Heather finds a dead mouse on the forest floor, slowly zooming in on it as she speaks]
    • Heather Donahue: What could have killed this mouse? Could it be the Blair Witch?
    • [off screen]
    • Michael Williams: How about God?
    • Interviewee: There was this old Mary Brown...
    • Heather Donahue: Mary Brown? Hmm.
    • Interviewee: Yeah, and she was kind of a crazy - - crazy lady.
    • Heather Donahue: How was she seen by the community?
    • Interviewee: Crazy.
    • Joshua Leonard: Heather, Heather, Heather, if you make me yell at this point... I'm going to yell at you, man.
    • Michael Williams: Who wants a cheeseburger?
    • Heather Donahue: I do. I do.
    • Michael Williams: I have a cheeseburger in my back pocket.
    • Joshua Leonard: What's that? Is that the Blair Witch? No, it's Heather, taking a piss.
    • Joshua Leonard: I see a dirty behind!
    • Interviewee: I don't believe in Witches and airy-fairy stuff like that.
    • Heather Donahue: Are you a Religious Man, Sir?
    • Interviewee: Yes.
    • Heather Donahue: Alrighty...
    • [Camera cuts out]
    • Heather Donahue: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!
    • Heather Donahue: Mike, relax.
    • Michael Williams: Don't fuckin' tell me to relax!
Movie details provided by