American Psycho Movie Poster

Quotes from American Psycho

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    • Patrick Bateman: I don't want to get you drunk, but, ah, that's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking.
    • Patrick Bateman: That's a very fine chardonnay you're drinking. I want you to clean your vagina.
    • Evelyn Williams: Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell.
    • Patrick Bateman: Because I want to fit in.
    • [Bateman narrating]
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée, keeps buzzing in my ear.
    • Evelyn Williams: Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
    • Patrick Bateman: Do what?
    • Evelyn Williams: Get married. Have a wedding.
    • Patrick Bateman: No, I can't take the time off work.
    • Evelyn Williams: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
    • Patrick Bateman: I don't want to talk about it.
    • Evelyn Williams: You hate that job anyway. I don't see why you just don't quit.
    • Donald Kimball: When was the last time you were with Paul Allen?
    • Patrick Bateman: We'd gone to a new musical called 'Oh Africa, Brave Africa'. It was a laugh riot.
    • [excusing himself from Detective Kimball]
    • Patrick Bateman: Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.
    • [in bed]
    • Patrick Bateman: Don't touch the watch.
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm on a diet.
    • Jean: What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin.
    • Patrick Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better.
    • Jean: Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower.
    • Patrick Bateman: That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway.
    • Patrick Bateman: Not quite blonde, are we? More of a dirty blonde.
    • Patrick Bateman: I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
    • Evelyn Williams: What about the past?
    • Patrick Bateman: We never really shared one.
    • Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
    • Waiter: Would you like to hear today's specials?
    • Patrick Bateman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.
    • Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
    • Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
    • David Van Patten: Ed Gein? The maitre 'd at Canal Bar?
    • Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
    • Craig McDermott: So what did he say?
    • Patrick Bateman: "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right."
    • David Van Patten: And what did the other part think?
    • Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick... "
    • [laughs]
    • Craig McDermott: }: I'm not really hungry, I just need to have reservations somewhere.
    • Patrick Bateman: Wasn't Rothschild originally handling the Fisher account? How did you get it?
    • Paul Allen: Well, Halberstram, I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill ya.
    • [Just after breaking up]
    • Evelyn Williams: Where are you going?
    • Patrick Bateman: I am just leaving.
    • Evelyn Williams: But where?
    • Patrick Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.
    • Patrick Bateman: He was into that whole Yale thing.
    • Donald Kimball: Yale thing?
    • Patrick Bateman: Yeah, Yale thing.
    • Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
    • Patrick Bateman: Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
    • Courtney Rawlinson: Listen Patrick, can we talk?
    • Patrick Bateman: You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.
    • ATM Machine: Feed me a stray cat.
    • Timothy Bryce: He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside...
    • [voice-over]
    • Patrick Bateman: ... "but inside" doesn't matter.
    • Craig McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside... " - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
    • Timothy Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
    • Patrick Bateman: Whatever.
    • [last lines]
    • Patrick Bateman: There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
    • [Recurring line]
    • Patrick Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.
    • [to Al, a homeless person]
    • Patrick Bateman: Get a god-damn job Al.
    • Evelyn Williams: You're inhuman.
    • Patrick Bateman: No... I'm in touch with humanity.
    • Jean: Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to?
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm looking for, uh...
    • [Puts nail gun to the back of Jean's head]
    • Patrick Bateman: I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special.
    • Patrick Bateman: I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don't want to get hurt, do you?
    • Jean: No. No, I guess not. I don't want to get bruised.
    • Courtney Rawlinson: Stop it, I'm...
    • Patrick Bateman: - on a lot of lithium?
    • Evelyn Williams: You hate that job anyway. I don't see why you don't just quit.
    • Patrick Bateman: Because I want to fit in.
    • [voice-over]
    • Patrick Bateman: There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.
    • Patrick Bateman: Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog, a collie, was named Lassie?
    • [laughs]
    • Jean: Who's Ted Bundy?
    • Courtney Rawlinson: Will you call me before Easter?
    • Patrick Bateman: Maybe.
    • Patrick Bateman: Ask me a question.
    • Club Patron: So, what do you do?
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly.
    • Club Patron: Do you like it?
    • Patrick Bateman: Well, it depends. Why?
    • Club Patron: Well, most guys I know who are in Mergers and Acquisitions really don't like it.
    • [repeated line]
    • Patrick Bateman: Just say no.
    • Jean: What's that?
    • Patrick Bateman: Duct tape. I need it for... taping something.
    • Patrick Bateman: Hey, I'm a child of divorce, gimme a break!
    • Paul Allen: This is really a beehive of, uh, activity, Halberstam. This place is hot, very hot.
    • Patrick Bateman: Listen, the mud soup and the charcoal arugula are outrageous here.
    • Paul Allen: Yeah, well. You're late.
    • Patrick Bateman: Hey, I'm a child of divorce. Give me a break.
    • [studies menu]
    • Patrick Bateman: Hmmmm, I see they've omitted the pork loin with lime Jell-O.
    • [looks across the room]
    • Patrick Bateman: Is that Ivana Trump over there? Jeez, Patrick, I mean Marcus, what are you thinking? Why would Ivana be at Texarkana?
    • [voiceover]
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm on the verge of tears by the time we arrive at Espace, since I'm positive we won't have a decent table. But we do, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.
    • Patrick Bateman: Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
    • Patrick Bateman: Your compliment was sufficient, Luis.
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm leaving. I've assessed the situation, and I'm going.
    • Patrick Bateman: Come on, Bryce. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.
    • Timothy Bryce: Like what?
    • Patrick Bateman: Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
    • [feigning tears]
    • Luis Carruthers: Patrick. How thought-provoking.
    • Patrick Bateman: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
    • Jean: Are you dating anyone?
    • Patrick Bateman: Maybe. I don't know... Not really.
    • Patrick Bateman: Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie?
    • [laughing]
    • Elizabeth: You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?
    • Patrick Bateman: It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.
    • [faking a conversation on the phone]
    • Patrick Bateman: Now, John, you've to wear clothes in proportion to your physique. There are definite dos and don'ts, good buddy of wearing a bold striped shirt. A bold stripe shirt calls for solid colored or discreetly patterned suits and ties.
    • [pause]
    • Patrick Bateman: Yes, always tip the stylist 15%. Listen, John, I've gotta go, T. Boone Pickens just walked in.
    • [laughs]
    • Patrick Bateman: Just joking. No, don't tip the owner of the salon. Okay John? Right? Got it.
    • [about Paul Allen's mysterious disappearence]
    • Patrick Bateman: The world just opens up and swallows them.
    • Donald Kimball: Eerie. Very eerie.
    • [Impersonating Paul Allen's voicemail]
    • Patrick Bateman: Hi, this is Paul Allen. I'm being called away to London for a few days. Meredith, I'll call you when I get back. Hasta la vista, baby.
    • Patrick Bateman: Pumpkin, you're dating the biggest dickweed in New York. Pumpkin, you're dating a tumbling, tumbling dickweed.
    • Courtney Rawlinson: Patrick, stop calling me pumpkin, OK?
    • [referring to the bloodstains on Bateman's sheets]
    • Victoria: What are those?
    • Patrick Bateman: Oh, uh, it's - cranberry juice. Uh, cran-apple.
    • Patrick Bateman: Hamilton, have a holly-jolly Christmas.
    • Patrick Bateman: Mistletoe alert!
    • Patrick Bateman: I know my behavior can be... *erratic* sometimes.
    • Patrick Bateman: I think, um, Evelyn that, uh, we've lost touch.
    • Evelyn Williams: Why? What's wrong?
    • Patrick Bateman: My need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale cannot be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
    • Donald Kimball: Huey Lewis and the News. Great stuff! I just bought it on my way here. You heard it?
    • Patrick Bateman: Never. I mean I don't really like singers.
    • Donald Kimball: Not a big music fan, huh?
    • Patrick Bateman: No, I like music. Just they're... Huey's too black sounding for me.
    • [first lines]
    • Waiter #1: Our pasta this evening is squid ravioli in a lemon grass broth with goat cheese profiteroles, and I also have an arugula Caesar salad. For entrees this evening, I have swordfish meatloaf with onion marmalade, rare roasted partridge breast in raspberry coulis with a sorrel timbale.
    • Waiter #2: ...and grilled free-range rabbit with herbed french fries. Our pasta tonight is a squid ravioli in a lemon grass broth, and the fish tonight is a grilled...
    • Timothy Bryce: God, I hate this place. It's a chick restaurant. Why aren't we at Dorsia?
    • Craig McDermott: Because Bateman won't give the maitre d' head.
    • [Bateman chuckles sarcastically and flicks a toothpick at McDermott]
    • Patrick Bateman: Negative. Cancel it.
    • [narrating]
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm fairly certain that Timothy Bryce and Evelyn are having an affair. Timothy is the only interesting person I know. I'm almost completely indifferent as to whether Evelyn knows I'm having an affair with Courtney Rawlinson, her closest friend. Courtney is almost perfect looking. She's usually operating on one or more psychiatric drugs; tonight I believe it's Xanax. More disturbing than the drug use, though, is the fact that she's engaged to Luis Carruthers, the biggest dufus in the business.
    • Evelyn Williams: What does Mr. Grinch want for Christmas? And don't say breast implants again.
    • [about Paul Allen]
    • Donald Kimball: And where did he go to school?
    • Patrick Bateman: Don't you know all this?
    • Donald Kimball: I just wanted to know if you know.
    • [to Christie]
    • Patrick Bateman: Do you take credit card? Just joking.
    • [with prostitutes]
    • Patrick Bateman: We're not through yet.
    • Patrick Bateman: What's wrong with that? It's totally disease-free.
    • Timothy Bryce: Gorbachev is downstairs. McDermott went to sign a peace treaty between the United States and Russia. He's the one behind Glasnost.
    • Young Woman: He said he was in mergers and acquisitions.
    • Timothy Bryce: You're not con-fused, are you?
    • Young Woman: No, not really.
    • Caron: Gorbachev is not downstairs.
    • Timothy Bryce: Caron's right. Gorbachev's not downstairs. He's at Tunnel.
    • [at Paul Allen's apartment, empty and painted white]
    • Real estate agent: You saw the ad in the Times?
    • Patrick Bateman: No... Yeah, I mean yeah, in the Times.
    • Real estate agent: There was no ad in the Times. I think you should go now.
    • Patrick Bateman: New York Matinee called it "a playful but mysterious little dish".
    • Craig McDermott: Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?
    • [Looking at Paul Allen's business card]
    • Patrick Bateman: Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark!
    • Patrick Bateman: Evelyn, I'm sorry. I just, uh... you're not terribly important to me.
    • [repeated line]
    • Patrick Bateman: I'm not here.
    • Luis Carruthers: Patrick, where did you get that overnight bag?
    • [Throws dead body in the trunk and slams it]
    • Patrick Bateman: Jean Paul Gaultier.
    • [voiceover]
    • Patrick Bateman: When I get to Paul Allen's place, I use the keys I took from his pocket. There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park and is obviously more expensive than mine. I calm myself and move into the bedroom, where I find his suitcase and start to pack.
    • Patrick Bateman: I hope I'm not being cross-examined here.
    • Donald Kimball: Do you feel that way?
    • Patrick Bateman: No, not really.
    • Patrick Bateman: I killed Paul Allen. And I liked it.
    • [to Christie the prostitute]
    • Elizabeth: What do you do?
    • Patrick Bateman: She's my... cousin.
    • Elizabeth: Mm-hmm.
    • Patrick Bateman: She's from... France.
    • Timothy Bryce: Don't you know anything about Sri Lanka? About how the Sikhs are killing like tons of Israelis over there?
    • Luis Carruthers: Patrick? Is that you?
    • Patrick Bateman: No Luis. It's not me. You're mistaken.
    • Patrick Bateman: Don't you want to know what I do?
    • Christie: No. No, not really.
    • Patrick Bateman: Well, I work on Wall Street... for Pierce & Pierce. Have you heard of it?
    • [the girls shake their heads. Patrick's jaw tightens]
    • Christie: You have a really nice place here, Paul. How much did you pay for it?
    • Patrick Bateman: Well, actually, that's none of your business, Christie. But I can assure you, it certainly wasn't cheap.
    • Patrick Bateman: New card. What do you think?
    • Timothy Bryce: Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
    • [Thinking]
    • Patrick Bateman: I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's card to mine.
    • Timothy Bryce: But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus. White.
    • Patrick Bateman: Impressive. Very nice.
    • David Van Patten: Hmm.
    • Patrick Bateman: Let's see Paul Allen's card.
    • [Thinking]
    • Patrick Bateman: Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
    • Luis Carruthers: Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating.
    • Craig McDermott: Whoa-ho. Very nice. Look at that.
    • Patrick Bateman: Picked them up from the printer's yesterday.
    • David Van Patten: Good coloring.
    • Patrick Bateman: That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.
    • David Van Patten: It's very cool, Bateman, but that's nothing. Look at this.
    • Timothy Bryce: That is really nice.
    • David Van Patten: Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?
    • Patrick Bateman: Nice.
    • Donald Kimball: I just have some questions about Paul Allen and yourself.
    • Patrick Bateman: Coffee?
    • Donald Kimball: No, I'm okay.
    • Patrick Bateman: Apollinaris?
    • Donald Kimball: No, I'm okay.
    • Patrick Bateman: Can you bring Mr...?
    • Donald Kimball: Kimball.
    • Patrick Bateman: Mr. Kimball a bottle of Apollinaris. It's no problem.
    • Patrick Bateman: So, what's the topic of discussion?
    • Donald Kimball: I'm sorry. I should've made an appointment. Was that anything important?
    • Patrick Bateman: Oh, that? Just mulling over business problems, examining opportunities, exchanging rumors, spreading gossip.
    • Patrick Bateman: Hey, is that Donald Trump's car?
    • [saved by his Flaming Homosexuality]
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