With the post-Memorial Day smells of barbequed meats and suntan lotion still lodged in our nostrils, summer has officially started. Another few months of fun in the sun, splish-splash playtime, and “sunny scary” horrors of the vacation variety. You had your weekend outside, now crank your indoor A/C units and get back to watchin’ movies. Specifically, horror movies! Not all nightmares have to be darkly lit, during midnight hours, or require howling at the moon. Why not start riding summer’s wave by streaming these seasonal horror flicks to set the mood?
11. Jaws (1975)
Where To Stream: Starz On Demand
Steven Spielberg’s Jaws redefined vacation terror by scaring hordes of beachgoers from their regularly timed oceanic swimming activities. An aquatic horror film that’s stood the test of time, expertly tense from start to finish. Spielberg shows tremendous restraint in holding his mechanical shark prop “Bruce” from view for long enough, then unleashes the beast on a trio of salty seadog actors (Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss) who experience survival terror when staring down one of man’s greatest foes. What can I write that hasn’t been repeated for decades? Jaws is an essential summer horror watch.
10. 47 Meters Down (2017)
Where To Stream: Netflix
Know what I love even more than aquatic creature features? Hollywood’s recent resurgence of aquatic creature features. Quality be damned (looking at you, Deep Blue Sea 2), there’s no more exciting trend than seeing movies like The Meg and 47 Meters Down chew through box office competition. The latter of which you could, and should, stream right now. This instant. GO.
Johannes Roberts’s shark diving submergence stars Mandy Moore and Claire Holt as vacationers whose protective cage becomes a scuba diving prison. As Captain Taylor (Matthew Modine) lowers the tourists down into glistening Mexican waters, their cage detaches and plummets to the ocean’s bed. Thus engages a psychologically thrilling and painfully vicious shark attack flick that’s packed to the gills with scares. In my opinion, one of the most accomplished recent examples of aquatic horror (hence why 47 Meters Down: Uncaged, out August 16th, was greenlit almost instantly).
9. Bait (2012)
Where To Stream: Tubi
Kimble Rendall’s Bait is, for lack of a better description, “sharks in a supermarket.” Yup! Your eyes do not deceive. A “freak” Australian tsunami traps multiple shoppers inside a supermarket (some of whom might be robbers), and with them, washes 12-foot great white sharks into the now flooded building. Bait plays like something that should have been released in the ’90s, and I mean that as the highest creature-feature compliment. From the makeshift shark-guard grocery store armor to daring escape attempts, there’s only ever a full lean into SYFY Channel conceptualization executed with infinitely more talent. Anyway, does it get any more summery than Australia’s pristine coastal sights?
8. Friday The 13th (1980)
Where To Stream: Hulu/Showtime On Demand
Friday The 13th, as a franchise, has become a mess of red-tape rights litigation, countless sequels, and so much goshdarn confusion around what’s coming next (Lebron James as a producer, possibly). It’s sometimes hard to remember where it all started, but luckily Hulu has a large selection of Voorhees history available to watch including Sean S. Cunningham’s now iconic slasher classic. Camp counselors, a child’s avoidable death, and the birth of Mama Voorhees’ rampage. While the remake is also streaming (on Netflix) and, in my opinion, worth a sleepover/late-night horror watch, we mustn’t forget legendary beginnings.
7. Zombeavers (2014)
Where To Stream: Tubi
“But Matt, isn’t Zombeavers more a ‘Spring Break’ horror flick?” Nay, summer isn’t just about sandy coastal resorts. Respect the lakehouse appreciators! Jordan Rubin’s hilarious (yes, HILARIOUS) undead beaver comedy is a wealth of genre riches from practical puppetry, Lycan influences, and an elevated commitment to the bit that sells the hell out of what’s promised in the title. It’s hard to deliver the buffoonery proposed by such a smashup phrase as “Zombeavers,” but from an opening radioactive waste accident (thanks to Bill Burr and musician John Mayer playing truckers) to bikini babes swatting at beady-eyed beaver deadheads, it’s all downhill in the best way. Start thumpin’ those tails in excitement, horror comedy fans. Rubin’s bucktoothed good-time is worth every pun and punishment. It even comes with a lounge-swingin’ original credits song.
6. Grabbers (2012)
Where To Stream: Hulu
“OK, seriously though, how is an Irish alien invasion movie considered a summer horror flick?” Glad you asked! Grabbers takes place on a small island that you possibly could consider a vacation destination, plays the daytime horror game, and is about staying as drunk as possible. You know, for safety. Isn’t that what summer’s about, after all? Clocking out early on a Friday and punching into the nearest happy rooftop hour? With that in mind, Jon Wright’s drunken Amblin inspiration pits a small town’s inhabitants against squirmy antagonistic creatures with one golden rule: stay as intoxicated as possible. It’s a whole thing about how the invaders can’t process alcohol and therefore detest eating humans with BAC levels above – wait, why am I telling you? Watch Grabbers and find out for yourself!
5. The Ruins (2008)
Where To Stream: Amazon Prime
The Ruins isn’t beloved by all, but for those willing to become entangled by Carter Smith’s Mayan vacation horror trap, ritualistic roots plant themselves in deep. Foreign travelers find themselves in Mexico, cornered by angry locals and unwittingly cursed by Mother Nature’s sneakiest killer: vines. Predatory vines, actually. A cast featuring Jena Malone and Shawn Ashmore become tangled in supernatural doom, which leads to some gnarly under-the-skin effects that cannot cleanly be cut out. In any case, The Ruins is underrated vacation horror in the eyes of the right beholder. Why not risk a stream?
4. The Meg (2018)
Where To Stream: HBO GO
While The Meg isn’t the exact “Jason Statham fights a prehistoric shark” movie I’d hoped for, it’s still a pretty damn entertaining “Jason Statham fights a prehistoric shark” movie. After an admittedly drawn-out beginning, Statham’s megalodon foe takes to the screen with immense stature and ship-chomping ferocity. Does Statham’s Jonas Taylor attempt to fight Meggy mano e megashark? Of course. Does an Act III beachfront destination filled with tourists find itself thrust into chaos mode when Monster Meg appears? You bet. Is there an underlying current of cheesy soap opera dramatics that, when executed with midday syndication smiles, are somewhat fun? Surprisingly! It’s not the bloody-as-hell “R” version Statham initially was pitched, but The Meg still services big-fish summer event horror cinema.
3. Anaconda (1997)
Where To Stream: Showtime On Demand
I am personally offended by Anaconda‘s “rotten” rating on both Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes. Luis Llosa’s perspiration-slick Amazonian snake hunt is the epitome of pulpy genre entertainment. Jon Voight takes a documentary film crew hostage when hunting an impossibly large Anaconda snake, endangering the National Geographic expedition crew (including Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, and Owen Wilson). Creature effects are both laughable and lovingly practical, heatwaves emanate from the screen, and characters fight against a titan of river terror with mixed-bag results. Anaconda is right up there with Deep Blue Sea and Lake Placid in a 90s trifecta of underwater monster flicks destined to leave fun-loving genre fans smiling ear-to-ear.
2. Donkey Punch (2008)
Where To Stream: Shudder/Tubi
There’s no playing coy here. Olly Blackburn’s extremist at-sea thriller Donkey Punch is, predictably, based on the sexual act. Don’t know what a “donkey punch” is? CAREFULLY Google the definition without images showing (better yet, check Urban Dictionary) – or log into Shudder and press play. All you need to know is men and women turn a drunken, drug-laced boating excursion into their private sexual playland that ends in tragedy, cover-ups, and bloodsoaked betrayals. Donkey Punch is one of those warning stories about partying with strangers who bring up greasy bedroom talk at any chance, which with summer now upon us, is a special kind of remote vacation reminder.
1. Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Where To Stream: Shudder/Tubi
Robert Hiltzik’s addition to sleepaway camp horror canon – aptly titled Sleepaway Camp – defines sleazy ’80s “Summersploitation” with a grin, cackle, and mad howl. The film, which introduced now indie slasher icon Felissa Rose, is an overflowing stew of crazy cooked up by a shaky-handed cafeteria chef. Perversions are poured on instead of sprinkled in, subplots of a mindset so very exploitatively ’80s based on gender or politics, and tone ever gleefully uneven. Certainly more entertaining than scary, this is the outdoor retreat slasher flick you flip on with cans of cheap light beer continuously cracking in the background throughout.
