The Lady Vanishes (1938) Movie Poster

Quotes from The Lady Vanishes (1938)

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    • Gilbert: I'm about as popular as a dose of strychnine.
    • Iris Henderson: I've no regrets. I've been everywhere and done everything. I've eaten caviar at Cannes, sausage rolls at the dogs. I've played baccarat at Biarritz and darts with the rural dean. What is there left for me but marriage?
    • Iris: Boris? Miss Henderson speaking. Look, someone upstairs is playing musical chairs with an elephant. Move one of them out, will you? I want to get some sleep.
    • Charters: You can't expect to put the two of us up in the maid's room.
    • Hotel Manager: Well don't get excited. I'll remove the maid out.
    • [because the hotel is full, Charters and Caldicott have been forced to share the maid's room]
    • Caldicott: They might at least have given us one each?
    • Charters: What?
    • Caldicott: The room at least.
    • [having been given the choice between a double or two single rooms, Eric Todhunter has hastily chosen the two singles]
    • 'Mrs.' Margaret Todhunter: You might at least have asked which one I preferred.
    • Eric Todhunter: Please Margaret, a double room in a place like this?
    • 'Mrs.' Margaret Todhunter: You weren't so particular in Paris last fall.
    • Eric Todhunter: That was different then, the exhibition was at its height.
    • 'Mrs.' Margaret Todhunter: I realise that now. There's no need to rub it in!
    • Gilbert: What was she wearing? Scotch tweeds wasn't it?
    • Iris Henderson: Oatmeal tweeds.
    • Gilbert: I knew it had something to do with porridge.
    • Charters: If only we hadn't missed that train at Budapest.
    • Caldicott: Well, I don't want to rub it in, but if you hadn't insisted on standing up until they'd finished their national anthem...
    • Charters: Yes, but you must show respect, Caldicott. If I'd known it was going to last twenty minutes...
    • Caldicott: It has always been my contention that the Hungarian Rhapsody is *not* their national anthem.
    • Iris Henderson: You're the most contemptible person I've ever met in all my life!
    • Gilbert: Confidentially, I think you're a bit of a stinker, too.
    • Gilbert: Come on, sit down, take it easy. What's the trouble?
    • Iris Henderson: If you must know, something fell on my head.
    • Gilbert: When, infancy?
    • Gilbert: Can I help?
    • Iris Henderson: Only by going away.
    • Gilbert: No, no, no, no. My father always taught me, never desert a lady in trouble. He even carried that as far as marrying Mother.
    • Iris Henderson: I was having tea about an hour ago with an English lady. You saw her, didn't you?
    • Gilbert: Wrong tactics. We should've told him we were looking for a lost cricket ball.
    • Charters: Well, I don't know, I mean, I was talking to my friend, wasn't I?
    • Caldicott: Indubitably.
    • Iris Henderson: Yes, but you were sitting at the next table. She turned and borrowed the sugar. You must remember.
    • Charters: Yes, I recall passing the sugar.
    • Iris Henderson: Well then you saw her.
    • Charters: I repeat we were deep in conversation. We were discussing cricket.
    • Iris Henderson: Well, I don't see how a thing like cricket can make you forget seeing people.
    • Charters: Oh, don't you? If that's your attitude, there's nothing more to be said! Come Caldicott. "A thing like cricket!"
    • Miss Froy: Everyone sings here. The people are just like happy children with laughter in their lips and music in their hearts.
    • Charters: It's not reflected in their politics, you know.
    • Miss Froy: I never think you should judge any country by its politics. After all, we English are quite honest by nature, aren't we?
    • Dr. Hartz: And I am Dr. Egon Hartz; you may have heard of me.
    • Gilbert: Not the brain surgeon?
    • Dr. Hartz: Yes, the same.
    • Gilbert: Yes, you flew over to England the other day and operated on one of our cabinet ministers.
    • Dr. Hartz: Oh, yes.
    • Gilbert: Tell me, did you find anything?
    • [Following Miss Froy back to her compartment]
    • Iris: Thank you for looking after me when I was - well, knocked out before.
    • Miss Froy: Never mind, dear. Now if I were you I'd try to get a little sleep. It'll make you feel quite well again! There's a most intriguing acrostic in the Needlewoman. I'm going to try to finish it before you wake up.
    • [Watches and then smiles as Iris closes her eyes]
    • Iris Henderson: Did you notice the nun in there with the patient?
    • Gilbert: No, not really...
    • Iris Henderson: Nuns don't wear high heels.
    • Iris Henderson: Was she hit?
    • Gilbert: I can't tell!
    • Iris Henderson: Must you follow me around like a pet dog?
    • Gilbert: Never climb a fence if you can sit on it.
    • [Opening the door to the lavatory]
    • Gilbert: Are you all right Miss Froy?
    • [Speaking from the cramped lavatory]
    • Miss Froy: Yes, thank you. It's rather like the rush hour on the Underground!
    • [In the middle of the shootout, pausing before firing his gun again]
    • Caldicott: We'll never get to the match now!
    • Iris Henderson: Then you are a spy!
    • Miss Froy: I always think that's such a grim word.
    • [Listening to Miss Froy sing the tune during the shootout]
    • Caldicott: The old girl has gone off her rocker!
    • [Seated with Gilbert in the Foreign Office waiting area]
    • Iris Henderson: Where are we going for our honeymoon?
    • Iris Henderson: No, no, no , no, that's the Wedding March!
    • Gilbert: I don't know, somewhere quiet. Somewhere where there are no trains.
    • [Emerging from the door to an office]
    • Foreign Office Man: Mr. Campbell will see you now.
    • [Walks toward the door with Iris, then stops]
    • Gilbert: Wait a minute. It's gone!
    • Iris Henderson: What's gone?
    • Gilbert: Why the tune! I've forgot it!
    • Iris Henderson: No, no!
    • Gilbert: Wait a minute, let me concentrate.
    • [sings]
    • Miss Froy: Some people've so little consideration for others, which makes life so much more difficult than it need be, don't you think?
    • Hotel Manager: Everything is ready! I didn't change anything.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Not even the sheets. We know. Lead on, Boris.
    • Hotel Manager: You see, l didn't expect you to come so quickly.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Our legs gave out on us. We had to do the last lap in a farm cart.
    • Hotel Manager: How do you say? lt's a bad wind that blow nowhere no good.
    • Charters: Meanwhile we have to stand here cooling our heels. I suppose, eh? Confounded impudence!
    • Caldicott: A third rate country. What do you expect?
    • Charters: l wonder who those women were.
    • Caldicott: Possibly Americans, I should think. You know, almighty dollar, old man.
    • Caldicott: I don't suppose there is such a thing as a wireless set hereabouts.
    • Charters: What a country. No wonder they have revolutions.
    • Miss Froy: You're very welcome to what's left of the cheese. Of course, it's not like beef steak, but, it's awfully rich in vitamins.
    • Miss Froy: Bandrika is one of Europe's few undiscovered corners.
    • Charters: Yes, that's probably because there's nothing worth discovering, I should think.
    • Miss Froy: ln the six years l've lived here, l've grown to love the country. Especially the mountains. l sometimes think they're like very friendly neighbors. You know, the big father and mother mountains with their white snow hats. And their nephews and nieces, not quite so big, with smaller hats. Right down to the tiniest hillock without any hat at all. Well, of course, that's just my fancy.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Serve us some supper, Boris, in our room.
    • Julie: I could eat a horse.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Don't put ideas into his head. Some chicken, Boris.
    • Hotel Manager: Yes.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: And a magnum of champagne.
    • Hotel Manager: Certainly.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: And make it snappy.
    • Blanche: Bandrika may have a dictator but tonight we're painting it red.
    • Julie: The only thing like about him is his moustache.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: You're a couple of cynics. l'm very fond of him.
    • Blanche: Well, l'm fond of rabbits but they have to be kept down.
    • Julie: To lris, and the happy days she's leaving behind.
    • Blanche: And the blue blooded cheque chaser she's dashing to London to marry.
    • Julie: The blue blooded cheque chaser!
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Someone upstairs is playing musical chairs with an elephant. Move one of them out, will you? l want to get some sleep.
    • [reading the "Herald Tribune" newspaper]
    • Caldicott: Nothing but baseball. You know, we used to call it Rounders. Children play it with a rubber ball and a stick. Not a word about cricket. Americans got no sense of proportion.
    • Miss Froy: You can always tell a honeymoon couple. They're so shy.
    • Miss Froy: My name's Froy.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Did you say Freud?
    • Miss Froy: No. O-Y, not E-U-D. Froy.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: l'm sorry l can't hear.
    • Miss Froy: Froy! lt rhymes with joy!
    • 'Mrs.' Todhunter: ln that first careless rapture of yours you said you didn't care what happens.
    • Mr. Todhunter: My dear, you must think of it from my point of view. The law, like Caesar's wife, must be above all suspicion.
    • 'Mrs.' Todhunter: Even when the law spends six weeks with Caesar's wife?
    • Caldicott: People just don't vanish and so forth.
    • Charters: What?
    • Caldicott: Well, vanish.
    • Charters: I don't know.
    • Caldicott: That just explains my point. People don't just disappear into thin air.
    • Charters: She has.
    • Caldicott: What?
    • Charters: Vanished.
    • Caldicott: Who?
    • Charters: The old dame.
    • Caldicott: Yes.
    • Charters: Well?
    • Caldicott: Well, how could she?
    • Gilbert Redman: l refuse to be discouraged. Faint heart never found old lady.
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: Where are you?
    • Gilbert Redman: I'm in here with a strong smell of camphor balls.
    • Gilbert Redman: Naughty. Naughty. You know, that's a very large nose for a very small pair of spectacles!
    • Gilbert Redman: You carry on keeping fit. Touch your toes. Stand on your head. Do anything! Only, whatever you do, don't fall asleep.
    • [spanks Iris' behind]
    • Gilbert Redman: Come on kid, you're not drugged. I'll explain later.
    • [first lines]
    • Caldicott: What's all this fuss about, Charters?
    • Charters: Damned if l know.
    • Mr. Todhunter: l won't be a party to this sort of thing. l don't believe in fighting!
    • Caldicott: Pacifist, eh? Won't work, old boy. Early Christians tried it and got thrown to the lions.
    • 'Mrs.' Todhunter: Why aren't we going? Why aren't we going? They said we were going. Why aren't we?
    • Iris Matilda Henderson: You heartless, callous, selfish, swollen-headed beast!
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