The Breakfast Club Movie Poster

Quotes from The Breakfast Club

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    • [Vernon catches Bender playing basketball in the gym]
    • Bender: Don't you want to hear my excuse?
    • Richard Vernon: Out.
    • Bender: I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.
    • Claire Standish: Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.
    • Bender: Poor baby.
    • [after Claire kisses his neck]
    • Bender: Why'd you do that?
    • Claire Standish: 'Cause I knew you wouldn't.
    • [pause]
    • Claire Standish: Were you truly disgusted with what I did with my lipstick?
    • Bender: The truth?
    • Claire Standish: Yeah.
    • [nods]
    • Bender: No.
    • Bender: Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other?
    • [nods]
    • Bender: Wouldn't I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?
    • Andrew: We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.
    • Andrew Clark: What do they do to you?
    • Allison Reynolds: They ignore me.
    • Andrew Clark: Yeah... yeah.
    • Allison Reynolds: You have problems.
    • Andrew Clark: Oh, I have problems?
    • Allison Reynolds: You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem.
    • Andrew Clark: Okay, fine, but I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite everyone into my problems.
    • [closing narration]
    • Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
    • Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...
    • Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...
    • Claire Standish: ...a princess...
    • John Bender: ...and a criminal...
    • Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.
    • [as Mr. Vernon leaves the library]
    • Bender: That man... is a brownie hound.
    • Richard Vernon: Why is that door closed? WHY IS THAT DOOR CLOSED?
    • Andrew: Speak for yourself.
    • Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.
    • John Bender: Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
    • Allison Reynolds: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.
    • Andrew Clark: Wow. Are you psychic?
    • Allison Reynolds: No.
    • Brian Johnson: Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?
    • Allison Reynolds: I stole your wallet.
    • Andrew Clark: If I lose my temper you're totaled, man.
    • John Bender: Totally?
    • Andrew Clark: Totally.
    • Claire Standish: I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.
    • John Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
    • Richard Vernon: Well, well. Here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time.
    • John Bender: Crystal.
    • Richard Vernon: Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. You might even decide whether or not you'd care to return.
    • Brian Johnson: Uh, you know, I can answer that right now, sir. That'd be no... No from me, 'cause...
    • [Contemptuously]
    • Richard Vernon: Sit down, Johnson.
    • Brian Johnson: Thank you, sir.
    • [sits down]
    • Richard Vernon: My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?
    • John Bender: Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
    • Richard Vernon: You'll get the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull, young man - you'll get the horns.
    • [walks away]
    • Claire Standish: Excuse me, sir. I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention but I don't think I belong in here.
    • John Bender: That man... is a brownie hound.
    • [Vernon ignores her, carrying on with his speech]
    • Richard Vernon: It is now 7:06. You have exactly 8 hours and 54 minutes to think about WHY you are here - to ponder the error of your ways. You will not talk... You will now move from these seats.
    • [Addressing Bender, who has his feet on a chair]
    • Richard Vernon: And YOU... will not sleep.
    • [Pulls the chair out from under Bender's feet]
    • Richard Vernon: All right people, we're going to try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay of no less than a thousand words describing to me who you think you are.
    • John Bender: Is this a test?
    • Richard Vernon: And when I say 'essay', I mean 'essay'. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Mr. Bender?
    • [Andrew laughs at Bender's backtalk]
    • Richard Vernon: You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's "bitchin," is that it? Let me tell you something. Look at him - he's a bum. You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is.
    • John Bender: Don't you ever talk about my friends. You don't know any of my friends. You don't look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean.
    • Claire Standish: SHUT UP!
    • John Bender: And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school together, you can forget it cuz it's never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fuckin' prom.
    • [Crying]
    • Claire Standish: I hate you!
    • John Bender: Yeah? Good!
    • Allison Reynolds: I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan.
    • [after Andrew says he would drive to school naked for one million dollars]
    • Allison Reynolds: I'd do that. I'll do anything sexual, and I don't need a million dollars to do it either. I'm a nymphomaniac.
    • [after Claire has given Allison a makeover]
    • Andrew: What happened to you?
    • Allison Reynolds: Why? Claire did it... What's wrong?
    • Andrew: Nothing's wrong... it's just so different, you know? I can see your face.
    • Allison Reynolds: Is that good or bad?
    • Andrew: It's good.
    • John Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?
    • John: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy.
    • Brian Johnson: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is.
    • John Bender: Sporto.
    • Andrew Clark: What?
    • John Bender: You get along with your parents?
    • Andrew Clark: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
    • John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.
    • Richard Vernon: Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.
    • Richard Vernon: What if your home... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on fire?
    • [truthfully]
    • John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.
    • John Bender: What's in there?
    • Claire Standish: Can I eat?
    • John Bender: I don't know. Give it a try.
    • Claire Standish: Guess? Where's your lunch?
    • John Bender: You're wearing it.
    • Claire Standish: You're nauseating.
    • [pointing to Claire's lunch]
    • John Bender: What's that?
    • Claire Standish: Sushi.
    • John Bender: Sushi?
    • Claire Standish: Rice, raw fish, and seaweed.
    • John Bender: You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?
    • John Bender: But face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie, what would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?
    • Andrew: What do you need a fake I.D. for?
    • Brian: So I can vote.
    • Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
    • John: So, who cares?
    • Allison Reynolds: I care.
    • Richard Vernon: You think about this: when you get old, these kids - when *I* get old - they're going to be running the country.
    • Carl: Yeah.
    • Richard Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me.
    • Carl: I wouldn't count on it.
    • Claire Standish: What's your name?
    • John Bender: Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born to be fat, and there's fat people that were once thin but became fat... so when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh...
    • John Bender: What's yours?
    • Claire Standish: Claire.
    • John Bender: Claire?
    • Claire Standish: Claire. It's a family name.
    • John Bender: Oh, it's a fat girl's name.
    • Claire Standish: Oh, thank you.
    • John Bender: You're welcome.
    • Claire Standish: I'm not fat.
    • [John Bender is absently tearing up books]
    • Andrew Clark: That's real intelligent.
    • John Bender: You're right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun to read. And
    • [examines title]
    • John Bender: Moe-Lay really pumps my nads.
    • Claire Standish: Moliere.
    • [From his office]
    • Richard Vernon: Jesus Christ Almighty! What in God' s name is going on in here? What was that ruckus?
    • Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
    • Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
    • Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?
    • Andrew: Yo wastoid, you're not gonna blaze up in here.
    • [as Bender prepares to urinate under his desk]
    • Andrew Clark: Hey, you're not urinating in here, man.
    • John Bender: Don't talk. Don't talk. It makes it crawl back up.
    • John Bender: Hey, homeboy, what do you say we close that door, we'll get the prom queen impregnated.
    • Brian's mom: Now is this the first time or the last time you do this to me?
    • Brian Johnson: Last.
    • Brian's mom: Now get in there and use the time to your advantage.
    • Brian Johnson: Mom, we're not supposed to study, we just have to sit there and do nothing.
    • Brian's mom: Well mister, you figure out a way to study.
    • Brian's sister: Yeah.
    • [Richard Vernon places magazine rack in front of door to hold it open]
    • John Bender: That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.
    • Principal Richard Vernon: The next time I have to come in here I'm crackin' skulls.
    • Claire Standish: Why didn't you want me to know that you are a virgin?
    • Brian Johnson: Because it's my business - my personal business.
    • John Bender: Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business.
    • John Bender: My impression of life at Big Bri's house, "Son?" "Yeah, Dad?" "How was your day, son?" "Great, Dad. How's yours?" "Super. Say, how would like to go fishing this weekend?" "Great, Dad. But I got homework to do." "That's okay, son. You can do it on the boat." "Gee." "Hon, isn't our son swell?" "Yes, dear. Isn't life swell?"
    • [kiss]
    • [after Claire flips him off]
    • John Bender: Oh, obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl.
    • Richard Vernon: What did you wanna be when you were young?
    • Carl: When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon.
    • Richard Vernon: Carl, don't be a goof. I'm making a serious point here.
    • Bender: Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.
    • Claire: No thank you.
    • Bender: How does he ride a bike?
    • Bender: Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?
    • Claire: Can't you just leave me alone?
    • Bender: I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun
    • Andrew: I said, leave her alone.
    • Bender: You gonna make me?
    • Andrew: Yeah.
    • Bender: You and how many of your friends?
    • Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal.
    • [running through the halls singing]
    • Bender: I wanna be an airborne ranger / I wanna lead a life of danger / Before the day I die / There's five things I wanna ride / Bicycle, tricycle, automobile / Virgin's mother and a ferris wheel...
    • Richard Vernon: You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people.
    • Bender: You're kind of sexy when you're angry.
    • Bender: You load up, you party.
    • Brian Johnson: Uhh, no, actually, we dress up.
    • Andrew Clark: So... what's your poison?
    • [Allison says nothing]
    • Andrew Clark: ... Ok, forget I asked.
    • Allison Reynolds: Vodka.
    • Andrew Clark: Vodka? When do you drink vodka.
    • Allison Reynolds: Whenever.
    • Andrew Clark: How much?
    • Allison Reynolds: Tons.
    • Mr. Clark, Andrew's Father: Hey, I screwed around. Guys screw around, there's nothin' wrong with that.
    • [Andy nods head]
    • Mr. Clark, Andrew's Father: Except you got caught, Sport.
    • Andrew: Yeah, Mom already wringed me, alright?
    • Mr. Clark, Andrew's Father: You wanna miss a match? You wanna blow your ride?
    • [Andy shakes head no]
    • Mr. Clark, Andrew's Father: No school's gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case!
    • [after Brian explains his F in shop]
    • Brian Johnson: Did you know without trigonometry, there'd be no engineering?
    • Bender: Without lamps, there'd be no light.
    • [opening narration immediately after the title sequence]
    • Brian Johnson: Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.
    • Bender: You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch...
    • Andrew Clark: I'm not a winner because I want to be one. I'm a winner because I've got strength and speed... kinda like a racehorse. It's about how involved I am in what's happening to me.
    • Bender: Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a million dollars that you are. Let's end the suspense! Is it gonna be... a white wedding?
    • Claire: Why don't you just shut up?
    • Bender: Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth?
    • [Claire doesn't answer]
    • Bender: Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off... hoping to God your parents don't walk in?
    • Claire: Do you want me to puke?
    • Bender: Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvins in a ball on the front seat, past eleven on a school-night?
    • Brian: Are you gonna be, like, a shopping bag lady? You know, like, sit in alleyways and, like, talk to buildings and wear men's shoes and that kinda thing?
    • John Bender: What're we having?
    • Brian Johnson: Uh, no, Mr. Johnson.
    • Brian Johnson: Uh, it's your standard, regular lunch I guess...
    • [Bender reaches in the bag and pulls out a thermos. He sets it on the table and points at it]
    • John Bender: Milk?
    • Brian Johnson: Uh, soup.
    • John Bender: Ah.
    • [Bender goes in again and pulls out a juice box. Brian reaches toward the bag and Bender slaps his hand]
    • Brian Johnson: That's apple juice...
    • John Bender: I *can* read. PB & J with the crusts cut off... Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
    • Bender: How does one become a janitor?
    • Carl: You wanna be a janitor?
    • Bender: No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor. Because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.
    • Carl: Oh really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Serf? Peon? Well, maybe so. But following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last 8 years, I've learned a couple of things. I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends.
    • [Carl looks up at the clock and looks at his watch]
    • Carl: By the way, that clock's 20 minutes fast.
    • [Chews fingernails]
    • Bender: You keep eating your hand; you're not gonna be hungry for lunch.
    • [Spits fingernail at Bender]
    • Principal Richard Vernon: Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.
    • Bender: Can you hear this?
    • [makes a middle finger pointing downwards]
    • Bender: Want me to turn it up?
    • [turns his middle finger right side up in his face]
    • [standing up for Claire after she's been bullied by Bender one too many times]
    • Andrew: Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her, you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?
    • [nonchalantly]
    • Bender: I'm trying to help her.
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