The Addams Family Movie Poster

Quotes from The Addams Family

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    • [at a gloomy, haunted mental asylum]
    • Morticia Addams: It's hideous!
    • Gomez Addams: It's horrible!
    • Gomez AddamsMorticia Addams: It's home!
    • [Wednesday enters holding a red balloon]
    • Morticia Addams: Strange, there's usually a murderous clown attached to the other end of these...
    • Wednesday Addams: How I wish something would lighten up this already tedious day.
    • [a tree throws Pugsley through a window]
    • Wednesday Addams: Thanks for trying, Ichabod.
    • [to Wednesday]
    • Morticia Addams: Don't forget to kick your father goodnight.
    • [kissing]
    • Gomez Addams: Your hand is as cold as a dead fish!
    • Morticia Addams: My love, that IS a dead fish.
    • [Pugsley drinks from a dog bowl]
    • Morticia Addams: Pugsley, don't drink it all. This gentleman wants some too.
    • Gomez Addams: Blow F6, Pugsley. Fire in the hole!
    • Pugsley Addams: Yes!
    • [inside a bathtub]
    • Uncle Fester: You sunk my battleship.
    • Gomez Addams: Well done, Pugsley!
    • Gomez Addams: Tastes like cotton candy.
    • Morticia Addams: How do you know what cotton candy tastes like?
    • Gomez Addams: Tish, it was my youth. I made mistakes!
    • Grandma: When you're done with Fabio, bring him up to my room.
    • Lurch: Oh boy...
    • Uncle Fester: I think I can see my house from here! No wait, that's a woman's prison.
    • Morticia Addams: If I'd known you were coming I could've made up the dungeon.
    • Uncle Fester: Don't worry about me, I can just sleep in the attic and you'll never even know I'm here.
    • [laughs slyly]
    • Uncle Fester: I've practiced that move in a lot of houses.
    • Parker: My mom has a lair *and* a jail? I knew I should've picked to live with my dad.
    • Wednesday Addams: No one torments my family but me. Hair clip.
    • Parker: Uh... okay?
    • [picks the lock on the door]
    • Wednesday Addams: Cage School 101.
    • Grandma: I haven't bathed in 2 weeks... or is it months?
    • Wednesday Addams: I think that woman is deranged. Her face reminds me of a death mask.
    • Uncle Fester: Deranged? Death mask? If you say she has bad breath, I'm hearing wedding bells!
    • [to Margaux]
    • Uncle Fester: Let me put it this way: you've got a lot of homes you need to get rid of, and I've got a lot of family I want to get rid of.
    • Wednesday Addams: Tomorrow you'll become a man, and I'll be a fugitive. Farewell, Pugsley.
    • Pugsley Addams: I always kind of knew it'd end like this, I just didn't think it would be this soon.
    • [to Margaux]
    • Uncle Fester: Who'd ever think a man like me, a total zero, would wind up with you, also a zero?
    • Gomez Addams: The fog's lifting!
    • Morticia Addams: But that's impossible, unless...
    • Gomez Addams: Someone's drained the marsh! But who?
    • [gasps]
    • Morticia Addams: A town. This isn't good.
    • Gomez Addams: We'll have to go introduce ourselves.
    • Gomez Addams: Tish, you have got to try these coffee grounds, they have a certain grit to them!
    • [sees confetti raining down]
    • Gomez Addams: This is peculiar weather service.
    • Wednesday Addams: Parker's the daughter of that mannequin woman. She says she goes to a school called ju-noir high.
    • Gomez Addams: Ju-noir high? Ah, I have read about those in my Abnormal Psychology journals.
    • [Wednesday doesn't come home after her first day of school]
    • Morticia Addams: It's late.
    • Gomez Addams: Wednesday can take care of herself.
    • Morticia Addams: It's not Wednesday I'm worried about, it's all the others. We may have to provide an alibi.
    • [to Pugsley]
    • Gomez Addams: Hand over all your explosives, and the TNT, and the M-80s, and the Roman candles...
    • Pugsley Addams: Dad, has anybody ever failed the Mazurka?
    • Gomez Addams: Only one: your third cousin Zander.
    • Pugsley Addams: Never heard of him.
    • Gomez Addams: Exactly!
    • [last lines]
    • Gomez Addams: We did good.
    • Morticia Addams: I won't tell, if you won't.
    • Wednesday Addams: This day is becoming most wonderfully disruptive...
    • Wednesday Addams: Pugsley's gone.
    • Morticia Addams: I know that tone, Wednesday, dig up your brother.
    • Wednesday Addams: We're weakening the gene pool.
    • Spirit of the House: GET OUT!
    • Morticia Addams: You're just grumpy becasue you haven't had your morning coffee.
    • Wednesday Addams: Remember, Bethany. I'm not locked here with you; you're locked in here with me.
    • Wednesday Addams: I'll never forget you, Pugsley, although I will try.
    • [to her octopus]
    • Wednesday Addams: Socrates, 8 tentacles, 9 lives.
    • Morticia Addams: Everyone all right? No missing limbs that weren't already missing before you came?
    • Margaux Needler: Mama has to help people.
    • Parker: *I* need help, aren't *I* people?
    • [singsong voice]
    • Wednesday Addams: What's so great, about being yourself, when you can be, like everyone else?
    • Morticia Addams: Don't you dare talk to your mother like that, Wednesday.
    • [singing]
    • BethanyParker: It's easy to be happy when you have no choice.
    • Wednesday Addams: Uncle Fester can come and go as he pleases.
    • Uncle Fester: Well not exactly, there *are* restrictions. I'm not allowed to go into a mall, the zoo, a building...
    • Morticia Addams: Wednesday, when you're all grown up you can travel all you want, but for now it's safer here.
    • [sighs]
    • Wednesday Addams: Come, Socrates.
    • [leaves the table]
    • [still talking]
    • Uncle Fester: South America, China, Europe, Asia... I AM allowed in Antarctica.
    • Wednesday Addams: Ms. Gravely, you put your underwear in the freezer.
    • [defensively]
    • Ms. Gravely: It's refreshing... what're you looking at?
    • Wednesday Addams: Trudy Pickering, you sit on the toilet backward.
    • Trudy Pickering: Well where else am I supposed to put my arms? How do you know that anyway?
    • Parker: My mom must've built hidden cameras into everybody's homes.
    • Wednesday Addams: I believe the word is psychotic.
    • Morticia Addams: It's that Margaux woman. It appears she's worked everybody up into a crazed mob.
    • Gomez Addams: Well I must say, I admire her work.
    • [looking through the gift basket]
    • Gomez Addams: Rasp-berry preserves... must be some kind of scented embalming fluid.
    • Parker: You don't have a cellphone? That is so weird.
    • Wednesday Addams: I may not have a... cell-phone, but you don't have a crossbow, and I thought everybody did.
    • Wednesday Addams: What goes on at your school?
    • Parker: Not much. Friends turning against each other, girls making other girls feel bad about themselves, you know, typical junior high.
    • Wednesday Addams: Fascinating. Is anybody allowed to go?
    • Parker: I guess so, but why would you want to?
    • [when entering the school for the first time]
    • Wednesday Addams: Now I understand. It's a children prison.
    • [repeated line]
    • Margaux Needler: You're welcome in advance.
    • [after having watched a sickening song and dance routine in a public park ]
    • Uncle Fester: Excuse me, I just tooted.
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