Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Movie Poster

Quotes from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

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    • Ramona V. Flowers: We all have baggage.
    • Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
    • Scott Pilgrim: It's seven.
    • Stacey Pilgrim: Oh, well, that's not that bad.
    • Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
    • [He and Kim walk off]
    • Envy Adams: Oh, he'll be done, real soon...
    • [a long bass note is played from the hole]
    • Todd Ingram: Sounds like someone wants to get... funky.
    • Scott Pilgrim: What?
    • Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday... because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up... dust. She dusts.
    • Scott Pilgrim: So, what's on Monday?
    • Todd Ingram: 'Cause... it's Friday now, she's the weekends off, so... Monday, right?"
    • Envy Adams: Basically, you can't win this fight, so you better give up on this girl, 'cause Todd's gonna kill you.
    • Scott Pilgrim: You used to be so nice!
    • [Runs towards Todd Ingram, who holds his hand up and lifts him a foot into the air with his mind powers, then hurls him through ]
    • Stephen Stills: Um, Scott, we're gonna go to Pizza-pizza for a slice, call us when you're done...
    • Roxy Richter: You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!
    • Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hahahaha... wait, what?
    • Kim Pine: I mean, are you really happy or really evil?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Evil? You mean, do I have, like, ulterior motives? I'm offended, Kim.
    • Kim Pine: Wounded, even?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hurt, Kim.
    • [from trailer]
    • Kim Pine: That... was *epic.*
    • [from trailer]
    • Scott Pilgrim: You know her?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: It was just a phase.
    • Scott Pilgrim: You had a sexy phase?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: I was just a litte bi-curious.
    • Roxy Richter: I'm just a little bi-furious!
    • [Lucas has just punched Scott to the ground. He turns to Ramona]
    • Lucas Lee: 'Sup? How's life? He seems nice.
    • Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    • Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
    • Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?
    • Envy Adams: You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
    • Gideon Gordon Graves: You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!
    • Wallace Wells: Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he.
    • Scott Pilgrim: You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef. Let's do it.
    • Stacey Pilgrim: You should break up with your fake highschool girlfriend!
    • Scott Pilgrim: Wait who told you?
    • Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace.
    • Scott Pilgrim: He's not even conscious!
    • Ramona V. Flowers: This is good garlic bread.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Then you'd get fat.
    • Scott Pilgrim: No, why would I get fat?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Because bread makes you fat.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat?
    • Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now you will begone.
    • Todd Ingram: Ve-gone?
    • Wallace Wells: Guess who's drunk!
    • Scott Pilgrim: I guess Wallace.
    • Wallace Wells: You guess right!
    • Todd Ingram: I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face.
    • Hipster Bouncer: What's the password?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Uh... whatever...
    • Hipster Bouncer: Cool...
    • Wallace Wells: Kick her in the balls!
    • Scott Pilgrim: Wait! We're fighting over Ramona?
    • Matthew Patel: Didn't you get my email explaining the situation?
    • Scott Pilgrim: I skimmed it.
    • [shaking head]
    • Wallace Wells: Mm-mm.
    • Matthew Patel: You will pay for your insolence!
    • Scott Pilgrim: So what you're saying is we're dating?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: I guess.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Does that mean we can make out?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Sure.
    • Young Neil: He punched the highlights out of her hair!
    • Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
    • Crash: This song is called "I Am So Sad. I Am So Very Very Sad." It goes like this.
    • [the song last only a couple of seconds]
    • Crash: Thank you.
    • [yelling out]
    • Wallace Wells: It's not a race, guys!
    • [annoyed]
    • Crash: Ok this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
    • Wallace Wells: Sweet!
    • [to Jimmy]
    • Wallace Wells: I love this song!
    • [Ramona approaches Gideon seductively]
    • Gideon Gordon Graves: Yeah. Still my girl.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Let's both be girls.
    • [She knees him in the groin]
    • Knives Chau: I've never even kissed a guy before.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hey... me neither.
    • [repeated line]
    • Scott Pilgrim: I have to pee.
    • Kim Pine: We are Sex Bob-Omb! And we're here to watch Scott Pilgrim kick your teeth in! One-two-three-four!
    • Scott Pilgrim: Amazon.ca! What's the website for that?
    • Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca
    • Knives Chau: Go ahead. I'm too cool for you anyway.
    • Scott Pilgrim: If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?
    • [while preparing to slay Scott Pilgrim]
    • Roxy Richter: Every Pilgrim reaches the end of it's journey... some sooner than others.
    • [talking to Ramona Flowers]
    • Knives Chau: You broke the heart that broke mine.
    • [talking to Scott Pilgrim]
    • Gideon Gordon Graves: Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises... and a fast entrance into hell!
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hey so, can this not be a one-night stand? For one thing I didn't even get any. That was a joke.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Wow... girl number...
    • Ramona V. Flowers: See you at the show Scott Pilgrim.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Oh hey it's tonight! At the...
    • Ramona V. Flowers: What did you have in mind?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Oh, come to this first round of this battle of the bands thing.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: You have a band?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, we're terrible. Please come.
    • [sighs]
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Sure.
    • [leaves]
    • Scott Pilgrim: Oh wait, can I get your number?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Here.
    • Scott Pilgrim: I have to go pee due to boredom.
    • Roxy Richter: Your BF's about to get eff'd in the b!
    • Wallace Wells: Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost.
    • Computer: You've got mail.
    • [Turns To Wallace]
    • Scott Pilgrim: Dude, this thing claims I have mail.
    • [groggily]
    • Wallace Wells: It's amazing what we can do with computers these days.
    • [Turns back]
    • Scott Pilgrim: Dude, now I'm totally reading it.
    • [sarcastic]
    • Wallace Wells: I'm so happy for you.
    • Envy Adams: You are incorrigible.
    • Todd Ingram: I don't know the meaning of the word.
    • Text: He really doesn't.
    • Scott Pilgrim: I don't think I can hit a girl. They're soft.
    • Todd Ingram: We have an unfinished business. I and he.
    • Scott Pilgrim: He and me.
    • Todd Ingram: Don't you talk to me about grammar!
    • Wallace Wells: Hey, what's up with his outfit?
    • Guy in Crowd: Yeah, is he a pirate?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Are you a pirate?
    • Matthew Patel: Pirates are in this year!
    • Gideon Gordon Graves: Do you have any idea how long it took me to get all the evil exes' contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like, two hours! *Two hours!*
    • Lucas Lee: Prepare to feel the wrath of the League of the Evil Exes.
    • [unenthusiastically]
    • Kim Pine: We are Sex Bob-omb. We are here to sell out and make money and stuff.
    • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.
    • [Several minutes later]
    • Scott Pilgrim: I said lesbians...
    • Ramona V. Flowers: What kind of tea do you want?
    • Scott Pilgrim: There's more than one kind?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and... earl grey.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Did you make some of those up?
    • [after defending Scott from Roxy]
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Do that again, and I will end you!
    • Roxy Richter: Oh I'd love to postpone, but I just cashed in my last rain check.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Where's that from?
    • Roxy Richter: My brain!
    • Kim Pine: Believe it or not I used to date Scott in high school.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Oh? Do you have any embarrassing stories?
    • [laughs sarcastically]
    • Kim Pine: Yeah... he's an idiot!
    • Matthew Patel: This is impossible. How can this be?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Open your eyes. Maybe you'll see!
    • [to Ramona]
    • Knives Chau: Steal my boyfriend, taste my steel!
    • Julie Powers: What about Ramona Flowers?
    • Scott Pilgrim: You know her? Tell me now.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hey You totally came!
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Yes I did totally come...
    • Scott Pilgrim: Ciao Knives!
    • Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
    • [Scott has just broken up with Ramona]
    • Stacey Pilgrim: Did you really see a future with this girl?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Like... with jet-packs?
    • Knives Chau: Hey Scott!
    • Scott Pilgrim: What the hell...
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Who is that girl again?
    • Stephen Stills: Scott dated her.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Briefly.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: How old is she?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Uhhhhhhhh...
    • [the camera goes into his head. We see a wheel listing various thoughts. The arrow gets stuck between "I gotta pee" and "Who, he]
    • Scott Pilgrim: I gotta pee on her!... I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time.
    • Wallace Wells: You doing okay there?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, good, good, good. She changed her hair.
    • Wallace Wells: So, it looks nice blue!
    • Scott Pilgrim: Yeah I know, but she did it without making a big deal out of it or anything... She's fickle, impulsive, spontaneous... God what am I going to do?
    • Stephen Stills: Oh god!... oh man! This is a nightmare! Is this a nightmare? Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up...!
    • Scott Pilgrim: It's just nerves!
    • Kim Pine: Once we're on stage, you'll be fine.
    • Stephen Stills: We were just on stage for sound check, and the sound guy hated us!
    • Stephen Stills: Level with me... did we suck?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: I don't know... did you?
    • [walks away]
    • Stephen Stills: ...she has to go. She knows we suck.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Well, it was nice to meet you and tell your gay friends I will see them later.
    • Stacey Pilgrim: Gay friends?
    • [Wallace and Jimmy are making out]
    • Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace? Again?
    • Knives Chau: What do you play?
    • Young Neil: Wow, ummm... Zelda... Tetris... that's kind of a big question.
    • Wallace Wells: I want to have his adopted babies.
    • Stephen Stills: I have distressing news.
    • Kim Pine: Is the news that we suck, because I really don't think I can take it.
    • Scott Pilgrim: You know what really sucks?
    • [Spells out "sux" with refrigerator magnets]
    • Wallace Wells: What?
    • [Rotates a magnet numeral 8 on its side, the mathematical symbol for infinity]
    • Scott Pilgrim: Everything...
    • Scott Pilgrim: I can not... have... tea.
    • Other Scott: And you didn't bang her? Are you gay?
    • Scott Pilgrim: I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend.
    • Jimmy: Is that the Uma Thurman movie?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Oh God!
    • Wallace Wells: You don't use the "e" word in this house.
    • Wallace Wells: What is it, Scott?
    • Scott Pilgrim: I had this totally weird dream...
    • Other Scott: Oh God!
    • Wallace Wells: What is it, Other Scott?
    • Other Scott: Can we skip the dream time? Color me not interested.
    • Scott Pilgrim: But there was this girl...
    • Wallace Wells: Girl...
    • Other Scott: Is this an envy-related dream again?
    • Crash: Good evening. My name is Crash, and these are the Boys.
    • [yelling out]
    • Wallace Wells: Is that girl a boy too?
    • Crash: Yes!
    • [girl drummer flips him off]
    • Wallace Wells: Hey Jimmy do they rock or suck?
    • Jimmy: They have not started playing yet...
    • Wallace Wells: That was a test Jimmy, and you passed.
    • Envy Adams: Short answer: Vegans are just better then everyone else.
    • [Roxy confronts Scott and Ramona]
    • Scott Pilgrim: You know this girl?
    • Roxy Richter: Oh boy, does she know me.
    • [to Ramona]
    • Scott Pilgrim: What is she talking about?
    • [to Ramona]
    • Roxy Richter: He really doesn't know?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Wait...
    • [Gauge in Scott's head flips from "No Clue" to "Gets It"]
    • [to Scott]
    • Wallace Wells: Everything does suck.
    • Wallace Wells: Uh, you know what?
    • [Scott dives through a window behind Wallis]
    • Wallace Wells: He just left.
    • Knives Chau: Really?
    • Wallace Wells: Yeah.
    • [Scott reaches through the window and grabs his jacket]
    • Wallace Wells: Sorry.
    • [Scott runs away behind Knives]
    • [phone rings]
    • Wallace Wells: Or does it?
    • [picks up the phone]
    • Wallace Wells: Hello? Oh, hey Knives. What's that? You're outside?
    • [Scott stands up quickly]
    • [Knives knocks on the front door]
    • [Wallis opens the door]
    • Knives Chau: Is Scott here?
    • Scott Pilgrim: I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don't care about any of that stuff. Because I'm in lesbians with you.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Why can't we have our own secret shows?
    • Kim Pine: All of our shows are secret shows.
    • [before doing a grind on his skateboard]
    • Lucas Lee: Somebody bring me my board!
    • [Wallace taps Lucas on his shoulder holding his skateboard]
    • Wallace Wells: Hi, big fan.
    • [cracking his neck]
    • Lucas Lee: Why wouldn't you be?
    • Knives Chau: Is Scott here?
    • Wallace Wells: Uh, you know what...
    • [Scott jumps through the window]
    • Wallace Wells: He just left.
    • Knives Chau: Really?
    • [Scott reaches back in and grabs his jacket]
    • Wallace Wells: Yeah... sorry.
    • [Scott runs away behind Knives]
    • Julie Powers: So, what can I *censored* get you?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Is there anywhere you don't work?
    • Julie Powers: They're called jobs, something a *censored* ball like you wouldn't know anything about. And by the way, I can't *censored* believe you asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to *censored* do that!
    • Scott Pilgrim: How are you doing that with your mouth?
    • Julie Powers: Never *censored* mind how I'm doing it!
    • [stabs Scott in the chest while he is caught off guard]
    • Gideon Gordon Graves: Game Over.
    • [Scott falls over, dead]
    • Gideon Gordon Graves: Scotty, you can cheat on many girls as you like. But you can't... cheat... death.
    • [Refering to Gideon]
    • Ramona V. Flowers: I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.
    • Stephen Stills: If we win, it won't just be Knives wearing Sex Bom-Omb shirts. It'll be the cool kids, too.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: He was a snot-nosed little brat. He just followed me around.
    • Scott Pilgrim: He had snot in his nose? But he's famous.
    • [as a 1UP appears in front of Scott]
    • Stephen Stills: What are you doing?
    • Scott Pilgrim: Getting a life.
    • [grabs 1UP]
    • Wallace Wells: Scott, you know I love you. But I need my own bed tonight. It's for sex.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Right.
    • Wallace Wells: I may need it for the rest of the week too... and the year.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Right, I get it.
    • Wallace Wells: Hey, maybe you can move in with Ramona.
    • [pause as Scott shakes his head]
    • Scott Pilgrim: She's with Gideon now.
    • Wallace Wells: Ah, that sucks, but you know it's probably just because he's better than you.
    • [during the introduction of "Black Sheep" by The Clash at Demonhead]
    • Scott Pilgrim: That guy on bass...
    • Envy Adams: Oh, yeah.
    • Scott Pilgrim: That's Todd.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: I know.
    • Envy Adams: Oh, yeah!
    • Scott Pilgrim: You know?
    • Envy Adams: OH, YEAH!
    • Scott Pilgrim: Oh, no.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hey, what's up?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Nothing.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Hey, you know Pac-man?
    • Ramona V. Flowers: I know of him.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because... Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. "Paku Paku" means "flap your mouth", and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like...
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Yeah, that's amazing.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Um... Am I dreaming? I'll leave you alone forever now.
    • Ramona V. Flowers: Thanks.
    • Roxy Richter: You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die obviously!
    • Young Neil: I didn't write the gay rule book... take it up with Liberace's ghost.
    • Wallace Wells: I didn't write the gay rule book... take it up with Liberace's ghost.

Spoilers

    • Kim Pine: Scott. Not that I care, but you should go talk to Ramona before she's gone.
    • Scott Pilgrim: Thanks, Kim.
    • Kim Pine: And I really don't care.
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