Santa Claus: The Movie Movie Poster

Quotes from Santa Claus: The Movie

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    • Santa Claus: Don't you know who I am?
    • Joe: Sure, you're a nut.
    • Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus.
    • Joe: Right, and I'm the tooth fairy.
    • Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?
    • B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.
    • Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.
    • B.Z.: Yes. I guess I was... no angel.
    • Ancient Elf: Now, all those within the sound of my voice, and all those on this Earth everywhere know that henceforth you will be called Santa Claus.
    • Cornelia: Merry Christmas, Uncle.
    • B.Z.: It certainly should be.
    • [B.Z. then makes an evil laugh]
    • Cornelia: You're burning up.
    • Joe: I'll be alright.
    • Cornelia: You stay out there and you'll be dead is what you'll be.
    • [Towzer comments to B.Z. about the proposed puce lollipop]
    • Towzer: If this catches on, we can come out with a liquid version: puce juice.
    • B.Z.: A sequel. That's it. We'll bring it out on March 25, and we'll call it... Christmas 2!
    • Patch: Christmas 2?
    • [Towzer has revealed the dangers of the puce lollipop]
    • Towzer: B.Z., this stuff kills people.
    • B.Z.: Are you going soft on me?
    • Santa Claus: How can I do so much in just one night?
    • Ancient Elf: Oh, yes, well know this: time travels with you. The night of the world is a passage of endless night for you, until your mission is done.
    • Santa Claus: You have folks saying that Santa Claus only rewards the good little boys and girls.
    • Anya Claus: Isn't that how it should be?
    • Santa Claus: All right. Dooley, make up a list of who is naughty and nice.
    • Dooley: Yes, sir.
    • Santa Claus: And be careful. I'll be checking it twice.
    • [after he gets his present from Santa]
    • Joe: Did Cornie get anything?
    • [pauses]
    • Joe: The er... little girl.
    • Santa Claus: Oh? Are you two seeing a lot of each other?
    • Joe: Actually, yes.
    • [blushes quite a lot]
    • Joe: Actually.
    • Patch: You'll fix it so I can get on the telly... what's-it?
    • B.Z.: Which country?
    • [simply]
    • Patch: All of them.
    • [shocked]
    • B.Z.: ALL of them?
    • [pleased]
    • Patch: Yes! All the countries, all the channels!
    • [incredulous]
    • B.Z.: That would cost a fortune!
    • B.Z.: When?
    • Patch: Uh, Christmas Eve.
    • B.Z.: How long?
    • Patch: Is a minute all right?
    • B.Z.: Yeah. What channel?
    • [simply]
    • Patch: Well all of them.
    • B.Z.: All of them?
    • Patch: Yeah.
    • Santa Claus: Next Christmas, you and I will have a date.
    • Joe: Really?
    • Santa Claus: Santa Claus never lies, Joe.
    • Towzer: The retailers are pulling our toys off the shelves so fast you'd think they're disease carriers.
    • B.Z.: Cowards.
    • Towzer: And an article in the Post said that anyone who gives his kid a B.Z. toy ought to have his head examined.
    • B.Z.: Swine! Cancel my subscription.
    • Towzer: We have to meet a payroll by the end of the month for 2,000 factory workers.
    • B.Z.: Commies!
    • [Dooley is reading Twas The Night Before Christmas]
    • Anya Claus: What is it?
    • [upset]
    • Santa Claus: Is that how they think I look?
    • [struggling not to laugh]
    • Anya Claus: Well... The cookies.
    • Patch: It's the cookies.
    • [the other elves snicker]
    • Santa Claus: It's a poem. A poem about me. They say it's a big hit.
    • Dooley: He had a broad face, and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
    • Santa Claus: What was that? That last part.
    • [reading with hesitation]
    • Dooley: He had a broad face.
    • Santa Claus: Yes. Go on.
    • [continues reading with hesitation]
    • Dooley: And a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of...
    • Santa Claus: Jelly.
    • Dooley: It's... just a poem.
    • Santa Claus: Patch gone? Where will he go? What will he do? The world is no place for an elf.
    • Boog: The world's a nice enough place, isn't it?
    • Honka: I mean, they send such nice letters from there! It must be!
    • B.Z.: FOR FREE?
    • B.Z.: This stardust, this reindeer cornflakes. What would happen if we were to juice up the formula, make it stronger?
    • Patch: Well, it's self-explanatory it would make them fly!
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