Instant Family Movie Poster

Quotes from Instant Family

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    • Juan: Do you like the Clippers?
    • Pete: I'm more of a Lakers fan.
    • [Pete throws the basketball at the net, it bounces off the ring and hits Juan in the face]
    • Juan: You hit me because I like the Clippers!
    • Pete: No, I think the Clippers are awesome. I think they were smart for trading Blake Griffin, their best player.
    • Karen: Your real kids are different. You can't erase them.
    • Pete: We might have a little bit of knack for this.
    • Sharon: I beg to differ.
    • Karen: Lizzie comes with two younger siblings.
    • Pete: Three kids, too much.
    • [Karen and Sharon show the pictures of Juan and Lita to Pete and Ellie]
    • Pete: Oh, my God!
    • Ellie: God, they're adorable!
    • Pete: Why would you show us that? That's wrong.
    • Lizzy: PRETEND MOM!
    • Stewart: Nothing hard about *kids* . Ah! As long as you spend some time with them, they're kool. Most important thing, make sure the moms all get along.
    • Mrs. Fernandez: Things that matter are hard.
    • Pete: Now I know where Brenda gets her inspiring speech thing.
    • Pete: When I'm pissed, do you know what I like to do?
    • [Pete takes a sledgehammer and hits the wall, then gives it to Lizzie]
    • Lizzy: Really?
    • [Pete and Ellie mistakenly confront Charlie thinking he is Jacob]
    • Ellie: It's that kid Jacob! Hey, I saw the picture you sent to her, Jacob.
    • Pete: You're lucky I don't end your life right now, carrot top!
    • Ellie: We're going to call your mom!
    • Pete: You're going down today!
    • Ellie: So what do you think of that, Jacob?
    • [sobbing]
    • Charlie: My name is not Jacob!
    • Ellie: What?
    • Charlie: It's Charlie!
    • Sharon: Did you meet any kids that you're curious about?
    • Pete: We met one little girl who was sitting all by herself, very sweet, a little guarded, kind of had a little wall around her. Really small for her age too, maybe a fetal alcohol thing or something?
    • Sharon: I saw her... Oh, right there.
    • Pete: The little sad-looking one with pigtails who seems like she's been chained to a radiator half her life.
    • Sharon: Uh, that's my daughter.
    • Pete: The radiator kid?
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