Dazed and Confused Movie Poster

Quotes from Dazed and Confused

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    • Mike: I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.
    • Simone: I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors. but you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!
    • Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.
    • Wooderson: All right, all right, all right.
    • Tommy Houston: Your days of lying around all night with Clementine are over.
    • John Hirschfelder: Yeah right.
    • Pink: I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.
    • Benny O'Donnell: Just remember, those guys don't care if you win or lose.
    • Tony: So your earlier offer still stands?
    • Sabrina Davis: What should I say? Whatever you like.
    • Mitch: Are you starting again next year?
    • Pink: I dunno man, I may not even play.
    • Pink: It was vicious. Had some pretty cool seniors though. Like, they'd beat the hell out of you and then get you drunk, that sort of thing.
    • Mitch: Cool.
    • John Hirschfelder: I was getting there! I had my hand under her shirt!
    • Tommy Houston: Hear that, he was 'getting there'. Son, you wouldn't even know what to do if you got there.
    • Shavonne Wright: Hey can we have a couple of those beers?
    • Dawson: These beers? Why?
    • Shavonne Wright: Just gimme a beer.
    • Julie Simms: You're Mitch, right? I think I heard about you.
    • Mitch: Oh really, what did you hear?
    • Julie Simms: I don't know, man, are you OK?
    • [embarrassed]
    • Mitch: Oh... yeah.
    • Pink: What's up?
    • Julie Simms: Nothing.
    • Pink: Nothing much?
    • Julie Simms: Nothing at all.
    • Julie Simms: They actually let you buy it?
    • Mitch: Course
    • [repeated line]
    • Mitch: Man I hate that guy!
    • Mitch: Man I hate that guy, he's a jerk. He is a jerk, right?
    • Pink: Yeah. He's kind of a joke.
    • Mrs. Kramer, Mitch's Mother: Have you been drinking?
    • Mitch: No
    • [falls on bed and can't even take off both boots]
    • Mrs. Kramer, Mitch's Mother: Are you drunk?
    • [clearly drunk]
    • Mitch: Psshh
    • Slater: Man just wait till I get to college!
    • Mr. Pickford, Kevin's Dad: You guys know anything about a party?
    • Pink: No sir.
    • Jodi: I guess I'll have to get used to seeing you at the same social functions as me. And hanging out with people I know.
    • Pink: Put some ice on it. After that, there's nothing a few beers won't take care of.
    • Kaye Faulkner: And there you guys were in class, trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes without even a *hint* of irony.
    • Shavonne Wright: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
    • Kaye Faulkner: Weren't thinking about it, were you?
    • Shavonne Wright: Gilligan's Island?
    • Kaye Faulkner: It's what known as a male pornographic fantasy.
    • [laughs]
    • Shavonne Wright: Oh my...
    • Kaye Faulkner: Think about it! You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type. The other... a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all - the Madonna and the whore. And women get nothing! We get a geek... an overweight middle-aged guy... some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
    • [interrupts]
    • Jodi: The professor... is sexy.
    • Simone: You act like you're so oppressed. You guys are kings of the school. What are you bitching about?
    • Mike: I didn't think drugs and alchohol were such a big deal they had to resort to Neo-McCarthyism to get rid of it.
    • Pink: I think they're just worried that some of us are having too good a time.
    • Darla: Ok girlies. It's really hot out here and I'm really sick of looking at you.
    • Pink: Wait a minute. Who put the keg all the way out here in the woods?
    • Jodi: I dunno. This is where they said it would be
    • Pink: Really?
    • Jodi: Really? We don't need the beer anyway.
    • [start making out]
    • O'Bannion: You are an embarrassment to the game of pool and should be glad I even let you play at my table.
    • Jodi: Heard they got you pretty bad.
    • Mitch: Oh, yeah
    • Jodi: Hey, I hear my name over here? You guys talking about me? Mitch, I heard they got you pretty bad. Those guys... you know I asked them to take it easy on you?
    • Mitch: What? Well no wonder!
    • Mitch: Yeah.
    • Jodi: They just got Hersh too
    • Mitch: Was it bad?
    • Sabrina Davis: Yeah.
    • Mitch: Was it O'Bannion?
    • Sabrina Davis: I think so
    • Mitch: Man I hate that jerk!
    • Sabrina Davis: Hey I didn't know Jodi was you're big sister
    • Wooderson: Yeah, well, listen. You ought to ditch the two geeks you're in the car with now and get in with us. But that's all right, we'll worry about that later. I will see you there. All right?
    • Pickford: Slater-san, how's it goin'?
    • Slater: Fixin' to be a lot better, man.
    • Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
    • Tony: Nothing like piling on old pancakes and syrup after a night of beer drinking.
    • Cynthia: I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.
    • Cynthia: God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught is just to service the future?
    • Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
    • Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
    • Mike: Death.
    • Tony: Life of the party.
    • Mike: It's true.
    • Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
    • Tony: So, you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?
    • Mike: I wanna dance!
    • Dawson: Vicki. Come on, let's skip out and go get naked. Come on let's go.
    • Mike: It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.
    • Tony: NeoMcCarthyism, I like that.
    • [describing his dream]
    • Tony: So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
    • Mike: What?
    • Tony: I can't say.
    • Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
    • Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
    • Darla: Lick me, all of you.
    • Slater: Imagine how many people out there are fuckin' right now man, just goin' at it.
    • Slater: George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.
    • Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
    • Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?
    • Mitch: Four.
    • Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.
    • Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
    • Don: I don't know. A few, I guess.
    • Pink: A few? Don, all I'm saying is, I bet we could do just as well if we were in a band or something.
    • Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
    • Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
    • Freshman Girl: Anything you want?
    • Dawson: Anything?
    • Freshman Girl: Anything.
    • [opening his mouth wide]
    • Dawson: Go like this. Do you spit or swallow?
    • Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
    • Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.
    • Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
    • Mitch: No, not on me, man.
    • Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you diid.
    • Dawson: You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like ?cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
    • Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
    • Pink: Marijuana on one. Reefer on two.
    • Ms. Ginny Stroud: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.
    • Slater: Oh, man, I'm fuckin' wasted.
    • Pink: All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself.
    • Slater: You cool man?
    • Mitch: Like how?
    • [rolling his eyes as he walks away]
    • Slater: OK.
    • Pink: He was asking if you get high.
    • Dawson: Did you hear that O'Bannion flunked?
    • Pink: Yeah, what a dumbshit.
    • Randall 'Pink' Floyd: Yeah, there's always one senior who has to be the bad-ass.
    • Coach Conrad: Before next fall you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You'd better get your priorities straight. And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.
    • Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me Watch me get something going here.
    • Slater: What are you talking about man?
    • Dawson: Check ya later! Check ya later!
    • Slater: Hey man, get off my case man.
    • [the girls show up]
    • Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
    • Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
    • Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
    • Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
    • Slater: All right, check ya later!
    • [the girls leave]
    • Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
    • Wooderson: I love those redheads!
    • [after seniors threaten him]
    • Mitch: Er, Mr. Payne. Sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival.
    • Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle.
    • [shouts]
    • Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Men!
    • [the boys jump]
    • Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
    • Mitch: Okay.
    • Slater: I'm letting you have shotgun. But cuz it's cuz only 'cuz I'm goin' inside.
    • [repeated line]
    • Slater: Shotgun!
    • Assistant Coach: Hey ladies, are you gonna be ready to play football this fall? huh?
    • Benny O'Donnell: I don't know coach, I've been doin' so well in english I thought I might work on bein' a writer. What do ya think about that?
    • Assistant Coach: Boy, you woudln't know how to spell your own name if it wasn't stencilled on your locker.
    • Carl Burnett: We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time.
    • Pickford: Slater alligator
    • [singing]
    • Michelle Burroughs: Watch them fly...
    • [stoned]
    • Slater: Hey you know that song is about the aliens?
    • Michelle Burroughs: Watch them fly... away
    • Pickford: Hey you guys know what that song is about? Its about the aliens. We're the aliens man, we're the savages. We're the savages man.
    • Pickford: Step into my head.
    • Cynthia: I call it the "every other decade" theory. The 50's were boring. The 60's rocked. The 70's, my god, they obviously suck. So maybe the 80s will be like, radical. I figure we'll be in our 20's and hey, it can't get any worse.
    • Pink: What girlfriend?
    • Jodi: What's her name... Simone.
    • Pink: Oh. Her.
    • Kaye Faulkner: Let's go smoke that joint
    • Jodi: Is he in for a surprise
    • Carl Burnett: Don't let the fact that you won't be able to sit down all summer affect your game
    • Cynthia: After a couple of years no one will even remember
    • Jodi: Ask Tony to marry you.
    • Sabrina Davis: Will you marry me?
    • Tony: Oh god, what am I supposed to say?
    • Mike: I dont know.
    • Tony: Uh, whadda ya do for me?
    • Sabrina Davis: Umm, anything you like.
    • [turns to Mike]
    • Tony: Imagine the possibilities.
    • Jodi: Who are you?
    • Sabrina Davis: Um... no one. I mean I'm not in the trucks
    • Jodi: You're freshman?
    • Sabrina Davis: Yeah...
    • Jodi: So... are you in or are you out?
    • Sabrina Davis: In, I guess
    • Sabrina Davis: So what do you guys do... for fun I mean
    • Jodi: Mostly hang out, y'know? There's gonna be a big party tonight, should be fun.
    • Sabrina Davis: Oh, cool. Sounds fun.
    • [nice]
    • Jodi: You wanna come?
    • [happy]
    • Sabrina Davis: Sure!
    • Wooderson: Aerosmith, 2 weeks. Don't forget.
    • [slaps her ass]
    • Cynthia: I won't.
    • Pickford: Don, give the beer back, man!
    • Don: I paid for the beer, man.
    • Pickford: Walkin' down the hall, by myself, smokin' a jay with fifty elves.
    • [Wooderson has just driven off after hitting on Cynthia]
    • Tony: God, that was so creepy!
    • Mike: Wait, why are you smiling?
    • [shrugs]
    • Cynthia: I thought he was cute.
    • Tony: Ugh, that's disgusting!
    • Mike: You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he graduated we were like three years old?
    • Wooderson: Cynthia, man? I like it, man.
    • Pink: Red's a good color for you.
    • Wooderson: My favorite color.
    • [mockingly, to Mike and Tony]
    • Pickford: Woodward, Bernstein.
    • Mike: Guess that makes you Deep Throat.
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